DRESS

had been shopping for this 2 days and spend a lot..but..but..but..I still didn't get to find a dress for saturday..>_<..what am I going to do?I got noting to wear on saturday night..AH~~~~~

I didn't even know what kind of dress I need also..@@

hmm...sob sob..

who can help me?*.*

I'm happy with my life now..even I still care and envy but I feel the love from everyone..I just hope time can just stop for this moment..when I'm with you and you guys..

ps./ A Town Where You Can See The Ocean

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christmas eve

I dunno about you guys but I was so excited for this day to come..and seriously after I think back, there wasn't even once that I really celebrate and enjoy my Christmas Eve or even Christmas..even thought we had roughly plan for this time as well..

I was so excited and happy went I go Penang after my lunch with my family..and you also said I'm every happy on that day *coz I use to be emo everytime I guess...=p*..but things doesn't go on that smooth..I discover that I had left my christmas present at home..I was so angry with myself for my clumsiness and started to moody..and you stare at me when I tickle you after the jock..you even ask me to take my laptop away without letting me know what's going on..I was really sad and angry when you did that to me..I even went to hide and cry when I know that I forgot my present..but you stop training and find me when I'm not in ur sight..and I'm sorry..


I drove them to auto-city at 6 and went back home to take the present..Dyi and bb were the only one took my car..they were so damn noisy at first but in the end both of them sleep like a baby..hehe
I went back to auto-city after I took my stuff..and now only I know that auto world need parking fees..WTF..uncle,you wanna bluff also find some other ppl la..u thought I'm gina know noting de oh?but I didn't fight back with that uncle coz he's busy with another guy that park behind me..


thought the performance will end at 9 but we were still there on 10..and we rush back to Penang after that..coz we going to QEII as what we had planed..when we reach there it was around 11 and that time only we know that Chee Hooi got food poison and Maggie was going to drive him to see doctor..and QEII had change the place to club on that time..so we went for our dinner + supper since everyone didn't had our dinner yet..


upper road mamak was the place that we went count down..*bo form*..after our meal we went church street to have snow beer but there got beer no *snow* = no glass..so we change our location to sin kim san to find Kenny..he's having supper with his friends there..and in the end..we had decide to go BED..reach there 1++ around 2 and it was full so we went RED..open a black label and ya..there was the place we celebrate our Christmas..

Last destination R.E.D

Ah hong's gf really impress me..she pour the half bottle of black label in my bb, kenny and ah hong's glass before we have to left..and 3 of them have to drive..@@..my bb can't drink also drink a lot on that day..so I have to drive in the end..
When back to hostel after I drop Vera and Kuhan..
I finish the rest that being left to complete as a present when he was showering..he kisses me and said thank you when I give it to him..
I was so happy that things finally getting good..but after I finish shower..he already fall asleep..
I cried the whole night and couldn't sleep at all coz he didn't keep his promise..
I pull his pillow and he woke up and hug me but I push him away and he just leave me alone..I get even sad and angry..and send him a msg..then he woke up and walk out when I was sitting at a side crying..but he didn't notice me at all..
he drunk too much and stomach not feeling well..and he reply my msg which he'll nvm do..= got gf cannot hug pillow de meh?
= I get jealous with a pillow..==


we had a talk after that..and I notice that he had changed..
he care about me..he was trying to be a good model..
he wasn't angry with me..he was just trying to be responsible..
he wasn't scolding me..he was just trying to be fair..
I'm sorry that's what I mean..


He then took my ipod and started to play "stand by me"..sharing part of the head set and hug me into his arm..looking at me and singing the song..
"wonderful night" was the next..I feel like crying at that time..but I didn't..
he kisses me on my forehead after the word "I Love You"..
it was the first time I heard from him..not like but love..not text but voice..

ps./ I felt the love from all of you

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Happy Sunday

The smile was always there whenever I looked at you..Its so warm and sweet..eventhough I can't sleep the whole night..

I think you didn't get to sleep well as well..coz whenever I looked at you, you'll look back..

you didn't wake me up the next day..but I felt bad for being lazy and sleep until so late..since ur mum and sis woke up that early..

I usually dun have breakfast but aunty bought a lot of things for me but sorry aunty..I can't finish everything..

went auto-city to take my car after breakfast and bought breakfast back for my sis and mate..and something really bad just happened..=My mate ran away=

after looking through the CCTV, I went back to his house to have lunch..

I was so clumsy that I didn't help his mum and sit there day dreaming the whole day *sorry*..

went for shopping with my sis in the evening and movie with ah dyi, his friend, yunn, and bb at night *wait till wanna sleep de*..

even we are tired..we had a great time..wink..

ps./ Happy with my life

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short day

I was angry the day before but..hmm..I went to penang again in the end..
realize that I got noting to do except for traveling to penang everyday..to see you..even a every short time..


I dun care anything anymore..I gonna just do what ever that makes me happy..
and if u are not going to tell me anything then I dun care..its up to you to let me know anything that you want..


meet up with maggie after lunch to look for christmas present..but both of us end up with empty hand..>_<..
I dunno what to get..maybe a photo frame?earing?....still didn't know what to get..


anyway looking foward for christmas eve..^^..
me and maggie plan to go someplace to drink..eat and have fun for our favourite x'mas..hehe..




ps./ dun forget our deal oh..^_<

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stop being so naive

wake up and grow up

stop being an idiot..fooling around

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Rely makes the fear

It wasn't about trust..It wasn't fear..Its just rely that makes me emotional..

I envy..
I didn't know what to do..
and I know it deeply in my heart that what is the feeling of theirs to be left behind being single..

Things went wrong when u never care..
I'm in the wild..you nvm tie me before..
so dun ask coz you let me..you are being careless again..

Time flies..one more month and I'll be leaving..
I just dun wanna waste any time anymore..
and hope tat the next plan will work..really looking forward for it..


ps./ I'm afraid to trust

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Sorry

I know sorry won't change thing that had been done and it doesn't gain back the trust that had been broke..
its just like a broken glass..even its fixed..rifts are still there..


you are the same in front of others..but not me..
I dunno how I can gain back the trust from you..but its not fair..
I'm not the only one who did wrong..but I'm the one who bearing all the fault..
and now you don't speak..you won't tell..


I hate tears but it just won't stop..
didn't realise that you can cause so much pain on me..
the so-call I dun care, whatever and anything bring up more than I had expected
the feeling and the love that I had and give are totally different from my past..
but when I tried to let it go..it hurts more than what I can bear..when it can be simple and easy


maybe I should just keep my mouth shut when I'm the happiest gal in the world
but what is done its done..I had no regret on telling you everything even it turns up to be this way..


maybe we just need some time and I won't give up that easy to gain back ur trust




ps./ its like using a knife stab throught my heart when you decide to leave me

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Irresponsible

I was excited and tried every single chance to meet you up..but its weird..when I saw you I just get angry but when you are not with me..I just wanna stay with you badly..==..I totally dunno what I'm trying to do and what I really want..

I felt bad when I left my siblings alone coz I have the responsible to take care them..I choose to be with you but in the end I still have to go back..

my parents are coming back on thursday..I wanna spend the rest of the time with you..but I still can't left my siblings behind..

I got a lot of things to tell but I dunno how..its like when I'm trying to talk to my mum..I have to think and memorize what I'm going to tell her before I talk to her..same thing happened to you as well..==..I just dunno get it..why I can't just speak out in front of ppl I love..

I'm not strong..I'm childish..I'm noting but a simple girl yet I just wanna let you know that I love you

ps./ 幸福离我们很近。。但。。我们都忘了靠近

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Think too much

OMG.. seriously I'm not pregnant..=.=..and I had been like that since the day I came back and its just getting serious only..its just some stomach problem..

vera and you, you guys think too much de k?so pls dun ask me anything about that anymore

This few days, whenever I look at the love bite through the mirror, I felt warm but sad as well..I tried to hide, cover it with my hair..but I had fail to not let everyone see it..I didn't know that I care so much for letting ppl see when things turn up this way..Its totally different feeling..or maybe I'm just scare and loose the trust that you had build it?

Had a drink with Maggie and Vera on Sunday..It was the worst day I have ever had for my whole life for taking beer..maybe my stomach problem doesn't allow me to drink that much..I didn't know that taking alcohol can cause so much pain..and trust me..its really bad until you won't wanna take any single sip of it anymore..

anyway, thanks to Maggie and Vera for spending time with me even though I'm still hesitating now..but I'm sure everything will be fine when time comes by

and sorry for driving me back as well

and thanks to you for taking care of me after that

the smell..the touch..the voice and laughter are all over me even though you are not with me..I can't resist myself for staying apart with you but I know I shouldn't be

Sometimes, I just hope you are not who you are..

dun keep on giving excuse and appreciate it before you loose it

but you'll still be you

persevere or give up?Its still a choice

ps./ You are noting but a passerby

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Trying

you are working hard

trying your best to fulfill my needs

and I'm trying to be optimize as well

but noting is perfect

when I saw you holding her hand

I felt pain from my heart

and it reminds me the past

when we were in Charles's house with your ex

no matter how hard I try to forget

it always bothers me

even though I told myself to trust you

and just enjoy what we are having for now

ps./ I just hope I can be stronger

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