0 Life of a Gal 0

The worst person I ever met

2011-03-12T07:18:00.001+08:00

this is how a room looks like

I can only say SHIT HAPPENED!!! You are the worst person I ever met

-You can just leave the rubbish for days and make the whole apartment stink

-throw all your stuff in the living room

-wear your shoes in the house n even your room after you vacuum the living room

-you didn't wash your pot after using it n left it for days n said its not urs but when you are washing it you said you used that to cook sesame

-you cooked and spill until all over without cleaning it if i didn't put aluminum foil am i the one should clean it again?

-you said "I didn't asked u to wash it for me" after cisi washed your left over for days n asked you to wash it next time after using it

-you leave ur underwear on ppl's shampoo

-you throw cisi's stuff out on the first day u move in when cisi suppose to be in a room with you n u said u didn't touch anything

-you keep on stepping on people's bed n pillow with your legs n there is always dirty after you step on it

-you spill the water on the bed n just leave it

-you leave stain on cisi's new drawer even b4 she manage to had it set up

-you didn't wash bed sheet after the blood leak when you had period

-you even smoke in the room when you are the smoke that told the agent that you don't smoke

-you left the stain in the fridge,floor n basin with your leaking food and just throw your food container on the basin after i had clean the fridge n basin

-you sock the cloth in your oily chili oil food after i had wash all the clothes

-you use the cloth that ppl used to dry the dishes to take your instant noodle n wipe the spill

-you let the food flow into the basin n let it get stuck

-you make the toilet stink coz the floor and the cloth were always all wet after you shower

-you put washing power in the softener place after i had told you which is the place to put washing power for several times

-you leave your bed sheet outside, on the floor for days n we help you to pick it up

-you don't keep the iron board after ironing your clothes and let it block the door n the way to the kitchen n how many times did I help you to keep it

-you agree to borrow Cisi cleanser coz she had finish hers n you scold her for using it and said she always used your stuff n got no money to buy for herself after she used it

-you didn't close the eye drop water after using it n use others without asking and did they say anything?

-you dye your hair n leave stain on window, tower n others belonging did viola said anything?

-you common on cisi's n viola's clothing and did u think about their feelings?you even want viola to refund back her money when she just finish shopping and came back home

-you just wanna go back after you get all your stuff and leave others alone

-you selfish until i asked you n viola to check the mail box coz me n cisi don't have the key n the is a international package note that all of us didn't notice n ad due on the day before n you just said you don't have international mail but most of the time I pull the mail out from the mail box are all your letter

-you used up all the space in the room n leave one small spot for cisi n said you can't do much thing when you can just clean up all your stuff

-you didn't pay all the electric n water bill n I helped you to pay everything without saying anything

-you blame viola on using your thing but its actually hers but you just keep on saying people using your stuff

-you pack all your stuff and move and left all the rubbish with cisi

-you put your stuff which is from the floor on ppl's bed

we weren't that stingy

we share all our stuff together

did we asked you to cook for us when every time you eat what we cooked?

did we asked you to go buy your own eye drop?

did we count everything with you?

use your stuff after you used our?

you know why all this happened?coz you are selfish..you are selfish even to say that we used your thing once you gonna used ours once..you are selfish enough to just think about yourself but not others..when we are trying to make the place we stay more comfort n you just think about yourself n let us clean up all your shit

we actually thought that we are too over n felt bad for saying everything out all in once but the reaction that you give us really piss us off

we are stupid enough to pity you in the first place and stay with you,then treat you as a friend and talk to you nicely when you don't even listen a word of ours and think you got noting wrong and your are perfect enough when not only one or two of us think you shouldn't be like this but three of us..

and you actually make the one that think we should stay together with you, a patient and good temper person pissed off, the first time i see cisi get angry is because of you..the first argument between me n cisi is because of you as well

and you are pretty successful coz you let 3 person that take things easily n doesn't care about much get mad and can't stand it anymore

we didn't say anything about you to others coz we think its personal but you just have to over the limit

well..you had your choice..just dun regret about it..

ps./ dun really know a jamie?good!I'll let you remember forever

All because of you♥

2011-02-08T22:28:00.001+08:00

♥All because of you I felt love n happiness

You are different

I like the time when I always think of you

or when I see you

coz it bring my smile up

I like the time when you first said you miss me

it makes me felt touch

I like the time when you first send me kiss

it brightens up my day

I like the time we had steamboat together

I felt so warm

though I'm not at home

n u help me to clean everything up in the end even though u are you a bit hangover

somehow I got my dad's feeling from you

lol

big and strong enough to protect me

the secure and safe feeling that I can't get from others

ps./ hmm..valentines coming soon

anti ciggy

2011-02-01T20:13:00.000+08:00

I know I shouldn't be blogging at this kind of time but I just dunno where to release it

I hope cisi is here..I hope you tell me what's in your mind or maybe I'm the only one who think too much that I though something is in your mind and you ain't tell me?or maybe you just dun like it when I said something on ciggy?

I hate "SMOKE" it always end me up in a bad situation

Ok..tell me..what should I do?dun control you and let you smoke as much as you like izit?though i know you had cut down but its still something

I used to don't understand why ah soo dun quit smoking when he only smoke once a day and for the very first time I argue with him is about smoking..and now same shit happened again thought i know you can't explain why you still smoke even though you dun like the smell..I can't explain it either..

I dunno how to support you at the same time dun control you..I know whenever I start to say things that sound like controlling you in ciggy shit happened and no matter how many times I tried not to say anything I'll end up saying more in the end..though every time you just act normal but I felt that you ain't well good either..

The reason why I keep it always coz you dun control me on anything..you let me do whatever I want and I like..I know you just want me to be myself and be happy but am I too over to control you since you said you wanna cut down?I thought I can handle things different now but I can't..I'm still who I am..

Am I too serious?you dun even care and why should I?haiz~back to study!

ps./ thing gets better and shit will happened

It's like a dream

2011-01-26T18:25:00.000+08:00

You are like a dream to me

A nice guy that I had ever met

You didn't know that every single things that you did makes my heart melt

it might be noting for you but it means a lot to me like what you think about me as well

You see through me and let me know that there is still hope

You are gentle and caring

You are the first one to carry me for so long and using so many ways when my legs hurt (though its very funny in someway)

You are the first person who open the car door for me

You respect me and let me do anything that I want

You said noting at all even though sometimes you care but you just want me to be myself

You are sensitive enough to find out things that I dun even notice

Your heart beat is always fast saying that coz I'm beside you

You said you woke ip coz I wasn't beside you anymore when I left for my class the other day

You drive me to uni and pick me up after uni sometimes

You run all the way down to find me when you can just called and ask me to meet you up in the place

You always said I'm yours

You like to tease me always and think its funny when you want me to say things that I felt really hard

You cooked me dinner and very good in cooking

You have the ability to let me say out everything even you didn't force me to

You felt touchy when I said I'm showing you clearly all about me

You said you dun like to make things complicated and I became so simple now -.-

I'm always alert when I'm sleeping but when I'm with you I always sleep well, like a pig, sense noting and you just pull my blanket when I'm hot and cover it for me when I'm cold even though I didn't say anything but you just know how I feel

When I said I'm scare and insecure because we dunno each other much and we met each other in such a short time and I'm scare that I like you more and more..you said that's so touching that makes me felt so different

You attract me more and more

You make me like you more and more day by day

You let me felt so secure

You bring up my smile whenever I see you

You make me scare losing you more and more but I'm not affair now coz you are with me

ps./ thanks for everything♥

before holidays

2011-01-02T12:09:00.000+08:00

When to DFO with Cisi the other day after our apartment inspection..we definitely love the apartment but we still didn't get the call from the agent..well..we'll still be searching for move places since there's still time till end of jan or feb. We went max benner after that to had waffler n chocolate..just love it so much but getting fatter and fatter!!>.<..

These pix were taken after Aiko's last class..too bad we can get Heong Peah in the asian grocery anymore..=(..I hardly find it in Melbourne but like my mum said, I'm crazy!!it cost 4 to 5 times more expensive then malaysia..ok..I'll just stop carving for it and wait till I'm back to malaysia..=p

We were fooling around when we reach home..its was freezing but we still have fun doing lots of weird stuff on the street..haha..and I remember that was the night I rush for my assignment again..>.<..bad habit..

New Year New Start?

2011-01-01T05:23:00.000+08:00

I dun really think new year = new start or new life..if u wanna change u can just change it anytime..dun give yourself an excuse to wait till a new year to have a brand new you..

I'm here..still awake at 8.25am in the 1st of Jan 2011..

Just wanna post about the recent feeling that I'm having..

Having fun with a few guys that we met the other day in Eve during Christmas eve and things get pretty complicated between Cisi and her feeling..well..she will know what to do when its time

Back to that group of guys..they are pretty nice actually, and thanks to Cisi, I did had fun..

She didn't want me to stay at home since we are having holidays and I was arguing with my mum the other day again..well..i just dunno how can I face them but I think its time for me to concentrate on my studies..at least that's what my parents want and what I can do to let things get better I guess?

Cisi hope I can move on..and wanna help me up with the guy in the group..but I think just follow the flow..at least I dun feel like having any relationship for now..I dun think I let go for the previous want either but I did paying less effort and concern on him yet things always change when u try to start letting go..I stop texting him and he starts find me in fb..well..time shows everything..=)

will be posting christmas eve and new year eve or maybe the holidays on the next post soon!

ps./ legs gonna broken soon

Try my best to find my way out

2010-12-14T21:57:00.000+08:00

I'm trying my very best to get my own way out, too be happy

Noting is perfectly correct or wrong its just that how u gonna take things

I try to learnt from my lesson and not let myself having the same mistake again

I did regret..regret on being not optimized enough..regret on making a wrong decision, at least its not the right decision for now but I'm trying my best to let myself feels better..to not let myself regret once more..

I might be just running away from the problems and what should I do?I hate the once awhile emotional..I wanna play..wanna enjoy..wanna be happy..but everything turn out to be noting by just an action or a word..I hope I'm strong enough to face it but I dun have the confident..I know there's no hope between us since u said its not worth it and i'm not the one u r willing to give up for anything..and I suddenly recall back your ex that I met 2 years ago during CNY..how stupid is she having hope that is hopeless..and here I am..repeating her mistake..but at least I done my best to get what I want..if its not mean to be I'll let go when its time..

ps./ time can heal a broken heart but time can also broke a waiting heart

Pixxx explain everything

2010-12-12T21:15:00.001+08:00

Well here we are again waiting for tram to go to city for Aiko's dancing class

In the tram

having break

After class

We went DFO the other day..but forgot when izit already..well both of us did a good job coz we didn't get anything at all..hahaha..but pocket still having hole..hmm..should seriously look for a job..

another waiting

Yarra river

Addidas's fitting room

CK's fitting room (both of us like so cacat)

Doing bo bo stuff while waiting for the tram

My birthday present..thank to my dear en and dean..love it!!

Just reach home after dancing class on friday?

A very rare Saturday morning that I manage to get up for Zumba..haha..but I'm still sleepy..walk till where sleep till where..hahaha..but get to see thing that we dun usually see during weekdays..=)

the santa

Didn't know there's ppl playing chase on the road

Hmm..wonder what am I looking?but for sure I was sleeping while standing..==

ps./ once break up there's no more friendship

cut it out

2010-12-08T22:08:00.000+08:00

You can't do this anymore..face it..stop fooling yourself anymore..you know it well why u are being emotional recently..u know it well why your tears drop automatically even when you r day dreaming..you should had stop from the time he told u its not worth it..you shouldn't be hoping anything anymore after being refuse..face it!!!you are noting but shit!!the gift was just to make him feel better after receiving your present..wake up!!wake up and MOVE ON!!!

pls..pls..pls let go n start ur own life..everyday making ourself so tired..staying up till so late..telling yourself being optimized will help a lot but noting change..

you wanna talk to him so much but u dun even know how u should talk to him..always being so nervous..always consider him first..always try to find excuse for him..HE AIN'T YOUR MAN!!

"HE's NOT THE MAN!"..just keep it in mind..wishing that time pass faster so that the missing cells get replace n die

I don't love you

Life in melbourne

2010-12-04T22:49:00.000+08:00

There goes my "virgin" for transport bar

Thanks to Cisi my "virgin" was gone after one year..haha..she makes my life in Melbourne more lively with the bars and clubs..but seriously we dun quite like it..as in the music was not much better than Hitz.fm..hahaha

Well, recently I was busy attending the classes for dancing in passion and dsoul..and I seriously feel like moving back to city after all the night clubs and dancing classes..I really felt tired to travel an hour just to attend an hour class and travel an hour back home again..and we have to always rush here and there so that we won't miss the tram but we are like spending most of our time on the tram..and not to said that the house we are sharing is bad but still i figure it out that i actually like apartment more..-.-..well, really hope to move out as soon as possible if not i really feel like dying everyday..so tiring..

Recently spend too much time on dancing and travel and almost forget about my studies..haiz..should concern more on my studies even though its not that difficult but if i keep on doing this i gonna fail everything..and my time to go on bed as well..everyday sleep after 5am seriously I feel like dying faster..haha

First day back to Mel with the 8 degree in Spring

Ok, let talk about Angel and Aiko..They are my dancing instructors which is from Taiwan and Japan..Aiko's girl's hip hop class is more like what I want but seriously I'm not good in memorizing..I always forgot steps and can't follow up during all the classes and was so suck..so I had decide to practice it after the class..but some of my basic did improve after stopping for quite a time..Even tough I'm not good in her new jazz i still think its a good starts for me to learnt more and improve myself..coz like we know..i'm better in hip hop but not rolling my butt and waving my body..haha..but I'm learning how to shake my butt now from Cisi..still my biggest problem is i don;t dare..As for Angel, her class was always full of laughter and energy..I like her class but hers is more on girl style will be something like new jazz..so its still the same..not dare and more practice..but both of them have different style..and Cisi said I should had choose one person to follow..hmm..currently I like Aiko's class more coz its more on hip hop but i still like Angel's lively teaching and more powerful choreo..so hard to decide..

After Aiko's class in Passion

Well life in Melbourne is still building up from friends, fun, study, food and sleep..since its summer break, now its just me and Cisi who always hang around..we also decide to find a part time job coz we are seriously spending a lot on shopping, eating, classes and party..and we had decide to go back malaysia next year..so we do need money!!btw..Cisi's not feeling well with her stomach recently and the doc basically ask her to stop eating everything except veg and rice..@@..hope she'll get well soon..

First birthday in Mel

Ma la you huo

Going vic market tomorrow..nice breakfast is waiting for me..wohoo~but I seriously need more exercise..gaining weight and my dad keep on complaining already..but i just can't control myself on eating..>_<..haha

And I do hate mac coz a lot of software can't use..now I just wanna merge the pix together also dunno what to do..sien..lazy to upload everything leh..-.-..maybe will go grab one ori software..no money no money..

I might be posting weird and blur stuff recently coz I'm seriously lack of sleep..>_<..hope I didn't make any joke here..haha

ps./ Didn't get you to answer it

sometimes its better to not be so clear

2010-12-04T18:49:00.000+08:00

Life brings a little of fate sometimes don't you think? Seriously I dunno how to reaction when I heard that..but some how I think there is still hope in our friendship..

I was always thinking that its ok that you dun contract us and its fine to find us when you got your difficulty or broke up with your gf, there's where a friend is needed.. yet after the day you broke our promise, our friendship doesn't mean anything anymore..i was tired..tired on having hope and hearing your excuses..tired of the uncomfortable moment when ur gf is here..and glade that i didn't went back to my mistake again last year..coz i don't need you to pity me..i don't need you to feel bad and treat me better for the things you did 4 years ago..you wasn't there went I need you 4 years ago and you are happiest when I was sad..you are so selfish and most of all..you dun even know what you want..

But..I remember you are the one who help me to pass through the hardest time when I was first in Melbourne..you are the one who come comfort me when I was alone in the dark back lorong..I dunno how should I react when I heard the present was from you actually..coz that was the time i felt comfort when i know even i'm having my first birthday in oversea, I wasn't lonely after all..Thanks for everything even though my emotional get a bit confuse but what is over is over..you are still my friend..=)

Saw what he post on fb makes me worried..is he stress? or sometimes just happened to him?I wanna call him so badly when I saw the wall post but guess he'll be still sleeping at time..=(..felt like crying all the sudden..i miss him so much and i just have no result to call him..i was always silence and trying to find some topic so that he won't hang the call..but it always doesn't last long..every time I tried to make myself happy when hanging..telling myself I should be satisfied coz he spend time talking with me..TT..but I just MISS HIM BADLY

ps./ I'll be brave

Dream will always the Dream

2010-12-04T00:28:00.000+08:00

Can't really control my emotional recently..Sometimes its like a small little girl been given sweets..sweet and happy even active having her own new toys; getting mad easily, down, sad and cry was on the other hand happening..I'm like a lively volcano, can't predict at all..

It had been weeks that I didn't call him since the last time i wake him up..I miss him..I really do..but I'm scared at the same time..

scared I had been disturbing him, scared he'll felt annoyed on me..yet he'll forget me..Life and human being can be very simple but I just make it so complicated..haha

I had a dream the other day..dreaming of him and was so happy..smiling all the way until I woke up from the dream..Cisi was watching me when I awake and she know it well that who I dream of..It was the first time I felt..secure and happy?I dun even know how to describe it yet it was just a dream..once you are awake you just have to face the reality..

I did have great time when I was with him and I do regret on letting go yet that's the fact and I shouldn't be staying anymore..

Seeing everyone so strong..I should keep up with my optimize thinking with my good mood everyday..=)..add oil la..will be posting "back to melbourne" for my next post

ps./ was thinking to open back to public for my blog, should I?

4 months holidays

2010-12-01T23:31:00.000+08:00

Starts it with guinness

Ola~it has been ages that I didn't came up here..looking back on all the pix....

My mind "OMG where should I start?so many things to say and share..what should I post?taiwan?pantai keracut?the parties???"haha

Like what you see, I had been spending my whole holidays with all my babes and friends for almost 4 months, partying, hanging, playing, gossiping, eating, facialing, traveling, drinking, drinking & its still drinking..haha..hmm..add some EMOING as well..=p

A lot of things happened in this 4 months yet its unbelievable, unforgettable, unchangeable, memorably n happy♥

Hmm..lets talk about myself first..first with the "organic" red hair then with a hair cut + another black red tint with red highlight after a month follow by a purple tint with..pink?orange?highlight?haha..i dye my hair 3 times in 2 months..oh god..ITS TIME TO STOP..but i kinda like my current hair style..even after the color fade, it was never showing purple by the way,I mean at least i didn't see it and the pix doesn't show it..haha..well, now it has turn to be a bit reddish copper and my hair getting longer..problem comes..ITS HARD to maintain short hair..=(..one hair cut cost me 75 aud..i'm gonna broke if I still going for it.. then should I just keep it?hmm..whatever..will think about it when its time..=)..then with the "sexy" look ppl were saying..haha..there's actually one thing "there's no sign saying I can't take pix in the fitting room"..XD..I didn't turn up to be very hardworking..I'm still the lazy old me stay at home with my laptop most of the time when I'm here in Melbourne. btw I had decide to stop shopping..i mean stop wasting money on unnecessary stuff coz i still LAZY to dress up myself..so it will be a waste n i'm really gonna broke if i keep on like this..even though i still said "YES!no need to change money for me I still have"-.-..faster get a part time job la..haiz..stop crapping..jump back to the time I'm in pg, kl and taiwan..

When kl twice I guess not include transit to Taiwan was with Jia Yong and the others..There is the first time we went there for the concert and battleground. Well. that was my first time taking bus alone to kl and yet I was with the weird feeling..excited?sad?haha..i dunno?but end up he did came and that little piggy just sleep the whole night ignoring me..well i though I forgot what happened that night yet it just recall back when I'm typing this..anyway, that was the first concert I had been..it was so tiring and seriously my back wasn't having a good time with me but I still stand for the whole concert till it finish..*secret- I was actually falling asleep half way..=p..the other time was the astro battle ground 1st audition..that was the first time I felt so nervous until my heart almost stop beating..even though they enter top5 but not finalist, i felt happy for time..they know their problems and they have to choice to solve it..that's it!oh ya~that night was my first time driving from kl to pg also..haha..so many first time..

Then what I remember when I was spending my holidays in pg, BED became my 2nd home..hahaha..go class sometimes also will absent once or twice but this is like EVERYDAY present!!Am I MAD???lol..even the uncle also recognized me saying I was there everyday..@@..anyway..thanks Kido, Ah Neh and my babe Ash always take care us there..haha..but when you guys wanna let me drunk jek?I heard that for ages ad but not once..the very last time they even end up laying like a dead fishes in studio..btw not to forget yeezie that walk in..

then with the 007 ping, the frog dom dom dom, girls' talk, crying in BED..haha..and with this geng of ppl we went pantai keracut, went party for maggie's farewell, went 3 competitions, ah dyi and yunn's wedding, pan cake, movie, bella italia, shusi,kim steamboat,tomyam moi, studio,red garden, and not to forget goodall..haha..well..mention about food the time I miss the most is having lunch with babe Ash everyday which becomes both our habits..have a 2nd thought on traveling to pg everyday..how did i do that?now i can feel that my house is real far..haha

At that time I learnt a lot..I learnt to be optimize; learnt to enjoy myself; learnt to be mature; learnt to know things can be very simple yet I learnt all that after I lost the important person in my life. I dunno how things going to turn up. Some said I'm stupid. He said its not worth it and what I said is, I just wanna be happy so just let me do what I wanna do. I didn't know what u want but I dun think you want me to act childish and being sad everyday..I dun declare that I'm just giving myself a hope so that I stop crying, stop emo, stand up still and enjoy my life..but there is still this 0.1 of emotional makes me crazy when i'm down..0.8 makes me sad after seeing his fb..0.2(+10 when knowing its just me) telling myself everything is over..but ya..there is still this 98.9 telling me not to give up. Well who knows?maybe I'll get a better man?or I might just stick back with that it is..=)

As for Taiwan, me and Xiao An spend most of our money on food then day tours and shopping. We went a lot of garden seeing all the views and I had a bag of 10 shoes back with 6 of mine..=p..overall still a nice trip coz i actually spend all my time sleeping..haha

that's it for my 4 months holidays post..btw hopefully I can get a photo editing software for mac

ps./ I was always smiling when I think about you

problems exist ur choice to be solve

Our love ~Will Be Here Forever~

2010-09-18T01:28:00.000+08:00

It has been more than one month

Had been having fun and laugher with my babes for that one month but deeply in my heart,I know it well that I was just running away from the fact

Making myself tough by bring up hope between us but when I realist there is more hope despair gets closer and closer, day by day because I'm leaving soon

I were so afraid that everything gonna be over

But I'm not for now

I starts to know more about us day by day

We did get closer after the break but you still keep everything to yourself

Like what Miguel said "guys usually keep the problem away from their partner which will cause bigger problem in the future cause it wasn't solve"

Yet I'm still glade that I get to know all that from others, at least its clear that the problems between us ain't because we don't love each other anymore

I know what you are worrying and why you keep saying all those things like "its not worth it", you just want me to let go,to find a better man but you didn't know you are the BEST MAN in my heart

You won't know how hard is it when I just broke up with you and my relatives keep saying your bad things

You won't know how painful am I when people are humiliating you publicly

You won't know how down am I when you thought I'm getting along with other guy

You ain't brave enough to love

You lost your own direction

You dun have the confident and trust that we can walk through the problems together

And what I can do now is just wait, let time to prove everything,I won't force anything anymore

And I'll prove to you that you are wrong

Btw, I wasn't drunk in bed the other day..didn't even beng but just wanna know how much he cares and due to my tired face and I know what I'll do when I'm beng everyone thought I was drunk and stim and stop me from drinking..bo form..

ps./ "Boyfriend" & "Girlfriend" is just a word.If both love each other,at the same time they are a pair of lover..Its meant from heart

As time pass

2010-09-10T03:23:00.000+08:00

Thing can be very simple and you make it so difficult, I really catch no ball..I don't really know you well but in fact its just a common problem that everyone of us are facing and what I had learnt from my past..you said you agree with what I said and we share the same thinking but you did forget what I said the next day so what's the purpose of agreeing and wasting time listening to what I said?You let me feel like you are just like HER..-.-

Recently more and more sad things happened..couple broke up..friend leaving and even pass away..hmm..Life..full of unexpected stuff that's what I can say..

The one who can let go,I'm glade and hope happiness come next..The one that can't let go, I felt sorry and pity for you guys but hopefully everything will be all right..Everyone has their own choice and so do you..Its hard sometimes but you'll be greatfull after you go through it..So good luck guys..

As for me..I'm enjoying my life now with all my babes..Gonna miss every single time that I had with all of you..and our new members as well..=)..Recently are a bit emo coz maggie is leaving soon and I really do start to miss her lotssss...but I know I should be strong as this is not the first time we separate..Hopefully we will still catch up and gather like we use to be..laughing and talking like nobody business..=)

I thought you change your state but you haven't..I start to miss you when I turn emo but maybe I should stop it..3 years separate will prove everything weather we are meant to be together or not..anyway..thanks for all of u that support or against this relationship..^^

ps./ Everyone has their purpose of living and so do you

Love my babe

2010-09-04T22:14:00.000+08:00

Time flies

Its getting closer and closer

The time we gonna separate again

The time that we gonna miss each other more

We know we can't stop things to happened, so we treasure every sec we are together

We know we gonna miss each other more after we separate, so we keep meeting each other

We know everything will change day by day, so we only see today

I'm having fun and laugher with all of you

Because of you guys I'm strong ;

Because of you guys I'm not lonely.

I wanna thank you guys for being my friends and lovely babe

What I wanna said is I love you guys

Recently a lot of things happened due to the troublemaker

Everyone were so angry and pissed off and so do I

But after saying it out..I'm not that angry anymore

Maybe because she's just a kid but hopefully she won't bring any trouble to any of us anymore

What's make me happy is I get to know more friends

Wen Jian and Kido

I'll treasure the rest of my time in Penang will all my babe and you 2

Thanks for the caring and laughter that you guys bring us

Appreciate it yo~=D

ps./ love all the clubbing pix,too bad I didn't get to take pix with you that day

you and I was once a good memory

2010-08-19T11:59:00.000+08:00

People was wondering why I left my blog so long ever since I came back from Melbourne and even so many things happened recently

What I can said is because of the lazyness and the way to express it out

People was wondering and get shock for the sudden change of the states in fb as well

I cover it nice and easy with my daily life

I woke up after the break

knowing how emo and annoying am I that you said noting but standing by myside guiding me to be more optimise

but I dun learn

I'm not welling to accept the fact that I should be satisfied with wat I'm hving now

I was impetuous when I said those things

and you were not confident to be who you are

Lifes go on

ps./ Time shows everything

Lina's 19th birthday party

2010-06-07T19:23:00.000+08:00

We had an advance birthday party for lina on 5th in cafe Italia

and since we had an appointment with Aureo on 4pm for the photoshooting we work up very early at 9am after we slept at 4++am (due to so

me childish argument between them)

yet we are so "lucky" coz it rains after we came out city..haha..so we got no choice but to delay

the shooting

till 15th

oh god..I dunno what to wear for the shooting d la..its freaking cold t

his day and I dun have any nice dress..>_<..oh wel..I'm not the character so just leave it..=p

We went to chocolate lounge since we got noting to do at the same time waiting for Mike who

disappear since he went to the saloon..

and tada~here he is..with his eyes..XD

We run back to my hostel coz its freezing and we got noting to do at all

We went to state library to meet up Fiona and Tony and we took taxi to the restaurant

We went to take some pix on the way and near parliment after dinner

Looking forward for the other pic and the photoshooting on 15th with Lina n Mike..=)

ps./ He just simply attracts me

2010-06-07T14:03:00.000+08:00

这是什么感觉啊？

突然觉得好空虚哦

从lina家回来后觉得跟ying ying有些代沟

本来以为摆脱那个傻婆后应该可以正常些，可是反而跟ying ying有隔膜，感觉更down..-.-

昨天看到照片的我们疯了。。哈哈

也因为lina很喜欢照片我也觉得很开心

多谢Auero。。辛苦了一整个晚上把大部分的照片都edit了

话说回来，他是第一个让我觉得我现在身在外国的人

如果可以的话还满想跟他做很好的朋友，也想找他在拍照。=)

过两天家人要来了

不懂为什么最近觉得他们很反感，也不想在他们过来时参酱多

唉~再看吧

刚刚看到照片，好怀念以前哦，也很羡慕

你们真的很棒，有点追不上脚步的样子。。哈哈

可是我还是想努力，成为一份子。

还有这个拜四是傻婆的真正生日，当然不会丢下她所以叻尽请期待吧。

如果不懒惰的话或许会上来写一下的，哈哈

ps./果然只要一天我就会不安心

flash

2010-05-25T01:22:00.000+08:00

new day new start

everything gonna be new new new

gonna erase everything

so be afraid

be very afraid

haha

(sound like mrs.patient..=p)

ps./ love ya

2010-05-25T00:43:00.000+08:00

是人太好还是太笨了？你们教教我该怎么做好吗？

我受够了！！！

家里这样，连你也。。

我好想告诉你我笑不起来。。

听筒另一头的我心碎了你懂吗？

为什么对你我总是像个笨蛋一样？一直为你着想，压抑自己的心情？

我很想告诉你我很痛~很。。痛。。

ps./ dun tell him anything

Relief

2010-05-23T17:11:00.000+08:00

wOhOo~~~the sky is clear now..had been emoing for this few days..and thanks to Vera with the no sound skyping, it really LDM..XD..(hey~dun throw away my drawing ah)..

I though I had changed..to be more mature and independent but guess what?I'm not after all..after that all my plurks and mind are covered by your poison..since when you take away so much from me huh?the poison is separating seriously now..omg..haha..but I know I had been growing greater and greater in your heart as well..^^

I felt the changed..and I'm glade and happy that we had small talks even you are extremely tired after all your working and busy days..you keep on blaming that you are the only one that doesn't know..haha..and I had been naughty for staying back no matter how much you force me back..

"I'll always be there for you"..I think this is the only thing that I can make you calm and throw away all the stress temporary..I didn't know that you got so much to think and consider and giving yourself so much pressure..how come you are so selfish in front of me but not others?ben dan..how long you have been forcing yourself?and keep it silently by yourself..but I'm glade I didn't cause more stress for you even I have my own stress at that time..

I'm glade that we had a good talk this morning..and I'll give you my fully support..bad luck so what?this year will be ending soon and as long as you tried your best and dun make yourself regret, things will be ok..I know I'm not mature enough to help you on anything..but at least I'll try my best to be the best so that you won't need to worry that much on me..

Am missing the song.. every time when ever it come out of my mind..it brings up my smile..^^..I'll complete it with you when I go back..=)

ps./ monday!!!

Unexpected

2010-04-20T21:58:00.000+08:00

Sometimes things just can't work according to plan..and ya..My plan didn't work out in the end..=)

I'm not sad but I didn't plan for other thing as well..Honestly..I didn't hope for anything but just see him once..and if we are lucky..We can spend a day together..

Oh ya~talk about recently..a lot of tests are coming continuously..had just finish math B this morning and CSC yesterday and much more are coming..and we get our exam time table today..I'm so "lucky" to had my CSC on the last day of the examination..-.-

ps./I'm kinda weird recently..but I'll try to figure it out..

3rd and 4th day in Gold Coast

2010-04-09T22:43:00.000+08:00

Went to sea world today..like the day before..we chat until forget the time again..and went out late..but lucky this time Thomas was late as well..and we were in the same bus..haha..We went to the reception to book for our dinner in Draculas before we went out since Thomas said his hotel can't book for us because we are not their guess..When we reach sea world the queue was so long..lucky we bought our ticket the day before..but as we can see..there are a lot of local bringing their kids with them..I heard a lot of friend saying that Sea World is very boring..but we still went there..We went to watch the dolphin show and I was shock coz I didn't know that dolphin can do back flip..haha..

When we were wondering and searching for lunch..I accidently notice someone.."Sha Sha" from TVBS and I ask Carmen coz I just saw her side..At first she said no coz she said that gal look very normal and we were just behind them..but after she speak the voice was totally her and I told her she's defiantly "Sha Sha" and we saw the camera with a TVBS logo..Carmen said she look nicer in TV..haha..

We then wonder around and went to watch sea lion show..The sea liaon was so cute..and after seeing the shark and polar bear we went back..its really boring and noting much to see..even in malaysia there are more stuff to see..So we plan to go back to have some rest before the dinner..Me and Carmen went Valley girl since we happened to walk pass there but again we didn't notice the time and end up rushing to coles to buy breakfast and went back hotel to put our stuff and go for dinner..yet some irritating stuff happened..the reception from Thomas's hotel booked 2 places for us for the dinner..and Thomas found that out after he went back to his hotel with a note in his room..I was really pissed off and wanted to talk to the reception after the dinner..Using ppl's credit card without asking and didn't give any call but leaving notes..that is a work in 4 start hotel?was very very angry until we reach Draculas..

The environment totally drag my attention..It was so cool and fun..The place is totally awesome..with the performance and worker inside..and the gift shop..and the train..It was really a great night..We happened to know the owner and had a small chat with him after the dinner..He grow up in KL and does know malay..He's really cool..but I think Carmen will be meeting him when he goes back malaysia to travel coz I'll be in Melbourne..sob sob..I miss malaysia also..just like him..haha..

We then took a bus back to hotel and was exhausted..eyes also can't open de..but end up chatting with my bb for 2 hours ++ until 4am..=p

Me and Carmen went shopping the next day in Pacific fair..and we found out that our taste is almost the same..haha..after the shopping we went back to hotel to put our stuff and wait for Thomas..since its too late to go beach we straight away go to the night market..its a bit different from the night market in malaysia but we saw a lot of interesting stuff there..and I finally get a present for my bb as birthday present since he ask me not to get psp for him..

After the night market we went to the beach since we going back to the same direction where we come from..the sand was so soft and cool..and after taking a few pix we plan to go dinner first then go back to the beach but we forgot that we plan to go to take pic until Thomas remain us after our dinner..We quickly rush to Time Zone to take our gangster pic..haha..but everyone looks very very tired so we just went back to hotel after that..

ps./ thanks for everything^^

1st and 2nd day in Gold Coast

2010-04-09T21:07:00.000+08:00

wOo~its been ages I didn't update my blog..so here I am to clean the spider web..

Had been looking forward for this trip..nervous and excited is what I feel at that time..coz I'm going to Gold Coast with Carmen which is a friend of Maggie that I only met her once when they were having an outing..

Unfortunately 4th April is easter, me and Ying Ying can't find any shop for breakfast so we just walk to Southern Cross Station since I'm taking skybus to airport..and on the way there we really can't find any place that are open..its something like chinese new year, every shop closed..after we had hungry jack as breakfast I took skybus to the airport..I was a bit nervous coz I'm going gold coast alone from the unfamiliar airport..but lucky I get to find the terminal coz melbourne airport is very big..

Reach Gold Coast airport around 3.30pm and I saw Carmen sitting in a corner playing her psp..I dun really recognized her until she saw me and say hi..and thing actually turn out pretty good..we took a cap to our hotel and because its so late we just went to find her friend,Thomas to have dinner and go back to hotel..We end up discussing our trip and chat till late at night..wOo~didn't expect us to have so many things to talk..but seriously I'm glade that I had a trip with her..We went out to buy breakfast around 1.3oam and there are still a lot ppl on the street coz that place is clubbing area I guess..

We went movie world the next day..we woke up at 7 but we are still late to meet up with Thomas because we were enjoying our breakfast while chatting again..haha..talk until forgot the time de..on our way to movie world I felt sick sitting in the bus..and we almost fly because the driver suddenly press the emergency break..but lucky everyone is ok..

The first thing I saw when I reach movie world is the roller coaster..it come down 90 degree..@@..lucky Carmen also scare this kind of stuff..haha..if not I gonna die..We met Thomas after purchasing the ticket..He was queuing for taking pix with Scooby Doo..so we just walk in without queuing..haha..after taking pix we went to the watch 4D sherk..it was fun..the view is better than 3D and the chair actually move as what the movie show and there are water as well..but my bb and Carmen said Genting also have this kind of theater..I felt like "sua pa gao" coz this is my first time experience this thing..we took a lot of pic on the way and fooling around on the shop..

Scoobe doo roller coaster is the next place we went but all of us didn't know that the queue is for roller coaster and waiting for around 30 minutes..and when we saw the roller coaster Carmen was shock coz she thought it was a ghost house..and she grab my hand until very tight when we were in the roller coaster..but I think it is fun..coz its not really very scary..hehe..We saw an interesting machine but it only print out one pix so we didn't take any pic from there but we took few pix from a draw..It just look so real..Its like u are in that place..We then walk around and took a lot pix before we went for lunch..

I got a 5 bucks face painting while Carmen and Thomas went to watch Scooby Doo show..We then went to some gift shop to get some souvenir..I made a tag from the dogtag machine..

We went gun shooting before we went for dinner..it was fun and I got the best result yet its not really good also..coz i dunno how it consider straight..haha..went dinner after that..and I had the worst steak and drink in my life..-.-..Carmen's spaghetti is cold as well..I think that was the worst meal we had..Carmen and Thomas went to grab some yogurt and I had ice chocolate from starbuck after our dinner and walk around the street..We then enter a condom kindom and look around..that was my first time enter condom shop but there are a lot of weird stuff inside..haha..was wondering should I get anything for my bb?=p

ps./ More pix in fb..

Hailstorm

2010-03-08T01:52:00.001+08:00

Thought everything is over but after we went back home from the Moomba Festival..I heard a lot of news that coz by the hailstorm..It was very terrible..and it makes my whole day down..

I'm stupid enough to have a chance to think that its fun while some other people are suffering..We are lucky that noting happened to us and its not that serious in the place we are..

After hearing the news and seeing the pic..I felt like crying..Its not like "Cheer..Everything will be fine" will make things changed..What had happened is happened..But my attitude make me felt very disappointed on myself..

Ambulances and Police car keep on passing through my hostel..It won't stop my mind on the disaster..I wanna go home..I felt insecure..Its like you won't know what will happened next and you might just leave everyone without them noticing..

ps./ Its raining again

Moomba Festival

2010-03-06T17:22:00.000+08:00

Went for Mooba festival today..I hear one of my lecture said that Moomba festival is actually to gather ppl and have fun..and it will held at Federation Square for few days till Monday..

Its a sunny day and the weather is so damn nice..not that hot but not that cool as well..^^..Me and Zi Ying meet up with Lina at around 11.30am and because Mike just woke up we had our lunch first..and Mike was here after we are done as well..We walk from Melbourne Central to Federation Square..Mike went for him lunch and bought the tickets for Alice and Wonderland in Crown while 3 of us went to Moomba festival first..Its my first time there, the Yarra River..and its so damn cool..the festival is something like a fun fair..but there are a lot of stuff that Malaysia dun have..Its so scary but interesting..but unfortunately I just finish walking one side before we get to play all the exciting and interesting stuff that Malaysia dun have at all..

The girls

We first saw a very interesting thing..its like a bicycle and when you paddle it and press on the steel, there will be sound coming out and it plays beautiful music..felt relax with those simple tunes..^^..and as we walk further in..there's a recycle art I think?they created Melbourne with brushes and plastic cover and stuff..but too bad to say that I really dunno what's that..haha..and we saw a huge baby which made up with paper flower..

Moomba Festival

Out from the room, its a mini animal zoo with blue tongue, owl, water dragon, sugar glider, kangaroo, phyton, lizard, some birds and something looks like pig(forgot call wat de)..of course won't miss the chance to touch and hold them and take pix..hehe..

First,its the 8 years old blue tongue..I thought blue tongue is very disgusting at first that's why I dun like bb to buy that..but today after touching it..haha..its kinda cute actually..then its phyton..that man dun let us to touch it coz he said if he let us hold then other ppl will want to hold it as well..so we just get to touch it and take pic with that guy as well..that phyton is from australia..its kinda nice as well but the feeling is not like ball phyton..you can't feel the scale..and the last one is a lizard..er..dun actually know what is that..but its cute also..after taking pix..I saw there are a lot of scratches on that man's hand..he said its from "his" brother..coz yesterday that small creature wasn't there..and he said they tried to remind them as what they are that's why they dun cut their nails..but he seems like "can cut the nails?"after asking him..haha..

With the small creature

I won myself a Simpsons when I play the basketball game..Guess am lucky..haha..coz we actually stand there for quite a time and no one actually get a prize from there and at first I also thought am not gonna get anything coz after I throw the first ball its like "so damn far..how to throw ah?"..haha..but the second ball actually enter..then Lina went to play "shot me" and won a cow as well..haha..actually its not the prize and I dun actually like this kind of things but just for fun..^^..Zi Ying didn't play any of it coz she seriously dun like all the doll..haha..but they are really hard..=.="..

Simpsons and Mrs.cow

Wondering around and decided to cross the Yarra River to the other side to play all the excited and fun stuff but Mike 's coming..so we met up with him before we cross the bridge..and something bad is coming..a strong wind keep on blowing and suddenly the sky become very dark..and we can see the cloud was blowing by the wind with a quick speed..but we just took our time and decide what to play the other day coz its almost time for movie..

While me and Mike was saying about the freaking scary turning thing that turning in the middle of the air..I saw something drop from the sky..and thought it was raining..Mike then pull me and push Lina while Zi Ying is behind me pushing me as well to a covering in front of us..then heard from the ppl who had the microphone shouted "run for ur life"..I was like "huh?"then "ouch"..Its raining..but its not water but ICE..oh my..Mike and Zi Ying keep on pressing my head down..coz its very painful when the Ice hit us and we are standing at the outer side of the covering..

People was pushing so that they can go under the covering as well..but some of them were standing out of the covering..hitting by the ice.. the children are crying and we are shock as well..The ice is something like the ice cube from the fridge but its in round shape..Seeing people outside was being hit by the ice and could do anything at all..but just ask Zi Ying to close the umbrella so that at least there are spaces for them to put their head in..but both of us were all wet..Nan keep on calling me..I was like "what I can do?keep on calling me also I can't make the storm stop de la..ARG!!!"in my heart..haha..but felt better after listening to the ppl with the mike singing..haha..he's so funny..and on the second thought..its kinda fun..haha..and Mike told us that its the first time that it happened in city..me and Zi Ying get all wet when the wind blow in our direction..I felt noting but cold..>_<..

We then decide to leave when the rain turn small..but every where is full of water with ice..ITS SO DAMN COLD..my legs were so pain and numb and its like no longer my leg anymore..and when we reach another covering..my legs turn red and were shivering and can't even stand..=.=..

On our way to Crown's cinema, there are a lot of small kids looking at my direction and saying "Simpsons" and some ppl in crown just bit him..wOo~Simpsons is so famous for western ppl..

We were late for 30 minutes for the movie and we tried to change the time but unfortunately the cinema was flood and the tickets were refund..Cinema flood????Melbourne so bad de meh?but we just feel very very very tired and just wanna find a place to eat without thinking for anything anymore..so we went to the same shop to have cakes..heard Lina said that the shop doesn't sell whole cake even you want one..but its really nice..I like the mud cake^^

Everyone with a tired face

Since everyone was so tired..We decide to cancel all the plan and go back and have some rest..We went Big W when we were on our way back..but its closed..Big W flood also?hmm..just had whatever we got at home for dinner la..Exhausted!!!

ps./ Bye bye to Mooba festival, hot dog and nice pix..>_<..

Dance club meeting

2010-03-05T21:21:00.000+08:00

hmm..where to begin?haha..long time didn't blog de..like dunno how to blog anymore..=p

ok..back to wed after class..I went to the dance club meeting..Didn't expect much as well actually..and in the end I'm not disappointed..haha..

The club is all about salsa..ballroom..and others..but not street dance..that is so damn not good..and there is a girl who doesn't look like dancing this kind of dance have a very good experience on them..oh well..guess I'm not that lucky after all..coz I'm not interested in all that..

Then I happened to know this girl, Alvina..she use to dance jazz ballet..but she said she's okie with hip hop and hope to have a class to have our own choreograph thing..

Okie..That's cool!!!Finally there is someone is roughly on my side..haha..but we didn't contact after that day till just now I accidently met her at the stairs..and in the end I got her msn..haha..

Something embarrassed happened after that..She finds me in msn and I thought she's my another friend called Alvin..coz seriously..I don't even know her name..haha..and after chatting for awhile only I notice its not him..but why she's not curious that I'm asking her other stuff?lol..but in the end we still had a nice chat..and I found out that she's from Klang..

Just can't wait to work out together..>_<..excited for the day to came..haha

Will be hanging out with my girls tomorrow..wOo~so damn excited..will talk about that on the next blog..hmm..wonder will I be meeting so damn rich tomorrow?haha..

ps./ Try hard to hide her fear so that she can be strong

No idea at all

2010-02-26T13:55:00.000+08:00

What is in my mind?I dun even dare to walk out that step..Why am I being sad for days?

I can't make everything clear..I dunno what's in my mind..I dunno why am I so down for days..I dunno why am I crying for days after listen to song or after watching movie..

I dunno its just me or what?why are you giving me this kind of respond?I felt am annoying for you..I felt I'm noting..I...just dunno what is it...

Drinking use to be very enjoyable for me..but today..i just wanna have a good sleep after drinking..

candles and chocolate no longer sweet anymore..even color doesn't colorful..doesn't bring joy..

ok..am dizzy now..guess that its time to take nap..haha

ps./ I love you

Too free

2010-02-23T11:55:00.000+08:00

Addicted to korean drama recently..A drama called "yuan lai shi mai nan"..

I found out something weird..dunno its just me or what?why seeing the same drama but will have different reaction and the differences is like so damn big???

Me and my roommates watch each episode per day..and every time whenever we are watching is like so damn quite except for the talking part from the drama..and recently my housemate after seeing us watched that, they started to watch as well..their reaction are totally different..they keep screaming and yelling and stay up till 4++ and go for class next day just to watch that drama..@@..keep on saying who's handsome and bla bla bla..Its not like the actor not handsome..but why we dun have the same reaction like the one they are having de?

we actually discuss about that and thought we are too old for that...hmm..for the second thought..non of this ever happened before in our whole life..haha..maybe we are abnormal..XD..that was the conclusion..haha..

Putting on weight recently..>_<..NO!!!!need to work on it..but recently very easy to get hungry leh..and I had a lot of ice-cream..@@..[there is 2 more left in the freeze]OMG!!!need to go exercise de..fat oil shu~~~~go away..keep ur distance from me..I still wanna wear my nice nice dress and clothes..I wanna wear my skinny and feel comfort with my comfort..XD

Life can't be any better than before..I'm happy even sometimes all the pass keep flashing on my mind..even I'm in the same class as she does..I doesn't need to change to fit in..doesn't need to do other ppl stuff..=)

noting to do..=p

ps./can I?

March 14-White Day

2010-02-20T20:35:00.000+08:00

White Day is a holiday celebrated on March 14, one month after Valentine's Day. In Japan this day is a widespread holiday, much like Valentine's Day. It is also observed in South Korea and Taiwan.

In Japan, Valentine's Day is observed by females who present chocolate gifts, usually to a male, as an expression of love. The handmade chocolate is usually preferred by the receiver, because it is a sign that the receiving male is the girl's "only one".

On White Day, the converse happens: males who received a honmei-choco (本命チョコ^?, "chocolate of love") or giri-choco (義理チョコ^?, "courtesy chocolate") on Valentine's Day are expected to return the favor by giving gifts, usually more expensive. Traditionally, popular White Day gifts are cookies, jewellery, white chocolate, white lingerie and marshmallows.^[2] Sometimes the term sanbai gaeshi (三倍返し^?, literally, "thrice the return") is used to describe the generally recited rule that the return gift should be two to three times the cost of the Valentine's gift..

March 14

ps../ Won't expect much yet still looking forward

笨蛋爱上了笨蛋

2010-02-20T13:47:00.000+08:00

最近你总是爱对我撒娇，让我觉得我对你也重要

对！我就是那么笨，那么天真

不管是友情还是爱情都老是被耍

第一次的“我爱你”也是我逼你的

你不曾说过你爱我，那天也是你要我先说

第一次的情人节你应该什么都不做，我只送了一张卡是我没心意

你知道我花了多少时间，多少心思吗？被骂，迟到，翘课就是因为你这张卡可你一句谢谢也没说

收到了也没告诉我。那本书我也想过，我只是想在我们一年时才给你罢了嘛

我像猪，像猩猩，人家可以很可爱，很好看

你知道我有多么期望在fb留讯息的是你吗？吃那么大会想去洗脸，学化妆也只是因为想被你疼多一点，觉得自己漂亮（我知道我不是）

跟我拍照总是烦的，跟别人拍都无所谓

最喜欢拍照，最想让照片成为永远都忘不掉的回忆，可你只想让你跟别人的回忆磨灭我

每天只睡了四到六小时是我活该

因为时差每天拖到那么迟睡也是想等你有空跟我发发简讯（虽然每次到最后都只会发到一两封）

每天等你讯息是我笨

就算自己再怎么累，你没空，忘了带电话还是等你等到你回简讯。自己也不敢发太多，怕你觉得我烦

对！我就是那么笨！可是我就是爱你。

我爱上了一个笨蛋，爱上了个木头

很多东西不是我没说，你不听你的事。将来是你的不是我的。你觉得你很满意现在的生活，觉得还不需要想想自己的将来那你就继续玩吧。。。

"If you love someone you would be willing to give up everything for them, but if they loved you back they had never ask you to" but you had broke my heart once..

ps./ Life moves on

Sudden feel

2010-02-18T20:16:00.000+08:00

Suddenly I'm affair to love..

The pass flash through my mind..and the insecure feeling come back to me..

You didn't reply my msg..You didn't tell me what's really going on yesterday..

Have been asking and telling myself these days whenever I'm angry,

"Did I did the same thing as you do? "

The answer was always yes and my anger disappear just like that..

Even every time I care or I'm angry..when I know you are ok I'll be happy and noting as well

Hmm..I dunno what's wrong with me..I know you care..I feel your love..but when I recall back just now..I was scare..

Scare this is just a dream?a lie?or I just scare one day I'll loose everything wonderful that I'm having now?and I start to think that everything might just be a lie..

I'm scare to trust..I'm so grieved..

Then I come to think about Angel this few days..I know I'm just lying to myself..I know I still care a lot about her and that's the reason why I'm hating her so much for now..But last time I wasn't wearing a mask in front of her when I'm with her even thought I thought I was but this few days when I look by the pix..I wasn't just trying to fit in and change myself..but I was happy as well [even I'm happier for now]..Just wanna say thank you..yet you have choose this path..so please be responsible for it..

Had a chat with Carmen in msn..it seems like she's having some problems with her bf..

Compare to her..I'm very lucky and happy..even thought you are a tree..XD..but I'm glade that it was you who appear in my life..

Anyway, hope everything goes well to her..

ps./ Can't take you off my mind

Chinese New Year 2010

2010-02-14T14:22:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was reunion...Went for breakfast with Zi Ying and Nan in the morning..Yup..I had breakfast for this 2 weeks de saturday..hahaha..but I enjoy my day even though I want my bed so badly..XD

my hot chocolate and scramble egg

We then went market and supermarket to add stock..and since Lina invited us to her house to have dinner, we decide to buy something instate of "liong shou jiu"[means empty hand in hk]..haha..and guess what we bought?....tada~~~

haha..I know..I know..where got ppl give chocolate when go visit ppl want?but its also valentine so we decide to buy chocolate for aunty and uncle..haha..and even the love also made by chocolate de oh..^^..

Me and Zi Ying meet up with Nan again at 5 and took train to find Lina..haha..This time I'm the one who bring them there..see..see..I so geng know how to take train myself..XD [Actually I very scare to take train and I prefer small place like Penang..so I won't get lost..haha] and Lina come fetch us from the station after that..When I was in the train..I heard one old lady taking "chao zhou"..It reminds me of my grandparents and the language that I use to heard everyday when I was small..Felt sad suddenly..I miss my family..but I can't do anything at all..feel like talking with that old lady..but in the end I didn't..

This is the second time I come to Lina's house but the feeling is totally different..Its not like first time that quite..Her whole family were in the kitchen busy preparing food except for Lina and her dad..felt bad for not helping but I think don't help is considering helping already..haha..so me, Zi Ying, Nan, Mike and Lina just sit in the living room chatting and fooling around..and take pix with Shadow until its time for dinner..

shadow give me his palm

he just won't stop doing me

see how childish Mike is

After dinner all of us when Crown..WoO~everyone was so desperate and excited but as for me..this is not my first time to casino..so I was excited then felt board..haha..but enjoy the feeling when we are separated into 3 cars to go to the same destination..haha..this is my first time sitting in the car and enjoying the time in Australia with joy and laugher..Wilson, Lina's second bro is the one who do all the talking..and make us feel comfort..^^

Wondering around in the casino for at least an hour I guess?Lina keep asking me to play and I feel like playing as well..but..haha..better not..even if I play the small one I can't afford to loss any $$$..haha..so me and Zi Ying just go outside to have a walk and look around since this is the first time Zi Ying came here..We meet up with Lina they all after Nan call us..but..the casino is too big..we get lost and have no idea where are they..lucky we met Wilson and he call Lina and bring us to find them..haha..5 of us then went for desert..

the cake is so B.I.G

the girls^^

♥the lovely couple♥

chocolate cheese * strawberry cheese and strawberry vallina

OMG~~~I keep eating the whole day non stop..pity my stomach..dun have time to rest at all..haha..was so exhausted after the whole day activity without any rest..but happy and enjoy myself..last but not least..Happy New Year and Happy Valentine to all..=)

ps./ I know you better than anyone so I won't expect anything

Selected

2010-02-13T22:29:00.000+08:00

Will update reunion day in this few days...am very exhausted~~~ now..after the whole day outing without any rest..and today post will be....

坐上幸福热气球，开始咯~

❤幸福热气球：第一阶段❤

1. 绰号：阿。。。阿怡？（不是很清楚）

2. 星座：天蝎

3. 生日： 11月21日

4. 兴趣：上网。。发呆。。跳舞。。打球。。睡觉

5. 血型： O

6. 最宝贵的东西：感情

7. 最讨厌的东西：给了人家机会却不懂得珍惜反而无视的踩在脚下

❤幸福热气球：第二阶段❤

1. 有喜欢的人吗：有

2. 有交往吗：嗯

3. 幸福吗：是的

4. 他很爱你吗：应该吧？因为他很大男人什么都不会show出来的

5. 如果你有勇气最想做什么：结婚生子（哈哈）

❤幸福热气球：第三阶段❤

1. 你被谁点： ah boii

2. 他是你的谁： friend

3. 他的个性是：不是很清楚，应该是开朗活泼的吧？

4. 他长得怎样：有鼻子，嘴巴，眼睛，耳朵的咯

5. 跟他认识多久了：应该算是8个多月9个月吗？

6. 你想跟他说什么：加油！不嫌弃就有事都可以找我的^^

7. 如果他变成你的情人：酱咯

❤幸福热气球：第四阶段❤

1. 最爱的音乐：只要好听都喜欢，除了华语歌

2. 最爱的季节：夏~夏~夏~

3. 最爱的颜色：紫，橙，百，青？哈哈。。都喜欢啦

4. 最想去的国家：除了中国

5. 最爱的水果：超爱水果所以都喜欢

6. 最爱的饮料：跑不掉的~可乐~~~[可最近喝了都会肚子痛]

7. 最爱的人：♥ 苏家勇 ♥

❤幸福热气球：第五阶段❤

1. 你很爱哭吗：不喜欢，但很多时候都忍不住

2. 你很爱笑吗：还好

3. 你是很有自信的人吗：沒有

4. 你想要怎样的生活：什么都不用担心的发呆

5. 你喜欢自己吗：还好

6. 你喜欢音乐吗： No Music No Life

7. 你喜欢体育吗：超爱

8. 你喜欢跳舞吗：超爱

9. 你很专情吗：不知道

10. 你喜欢睡觉吗：不开心都会睡觉

11. 你喜欢唱歌吗： ok咯

ps./ Happy Chinese New Year & Happy Valentine's Day

Short post

2010-02-11T19:48:00.000+08:00

Wondering around doing noting..Just hope that my mind can stop thinking so I decide to go to bed early today..but..haha..I think even I'm laying on there for hours, I still won't get to sleep..

Too bad to said that I have a test tomorrow and I didn't study at all..skip jor 2 long classes but didn't follow up the lesson that I have left behind yet..didn't catch up with my Math A and starting to get lost in my Math B..

It has been the 3 weeks..not very long..but..haha..I think I did noting at all but I dunno where my time go..

I sleep less then others..study less than others..but I think I spend a lot of time online and day dreaming more than others..XD..haiz

When I was laying on the bed..soemthing nice pop out from my mind..

"The Journal" that I was thinking of making one myself, makes me think back our past..and it brings up my smile..but after that I look back at my phone..I felt lonely..=,(

You ask me before why I have to cry when I miss you?Why can't I be happy when missing you?

Hmm..Maybe I didn't and can't see you for AGES~~~~XD

Wonders when my card will arrive..

ps./ Felt better after blogging..=)

Opposite Wednesday

2010-02-10T21:50:00.000+08:00

Today is not really my day..Thought I could be more relax since today is Wednesday but it seems to be not..Went to print pix which I'm using it for my Valentine's Day card..but I notice there's no sure thing as 2R here and I have to wash 3R size pix..haiz..and almost late for class..coz I went before class..

When to collect the pix after class..lucky today has longer lesson..so I didn't wait long to get they pix..On the way back I know it would take time to finish it up by today coz it wasn't going smooth according to the plan..and when my way back..I felt dizzy and started to see more buttons in the life..=.=..what I can say?The weather is driving me crazy..I'm always hetty even I drink a lot of water(but ulcer getting better)..

Decide to skip one class so that I can finish the card..but in the end I skip two..=.=..but I still didn't get to sleep well or rest early..TT
Going to have acc test on friday, need to do research on report and made a summary by friday,having math B test on tuesday and CSC and math A on thursday..my pity new year..doesn't have a break at all..

I'm not really in the mood today except for making card of coz..A stupid lady shout at me when I went to the post shop to post my card for the second time..and I have to teach Simon CSC..haiz..whole day long..but thanks to Vera and Lina and also Simon..my day gets much more better..but I still feel like blogging..haha..to say out everything and to make myself feels better..
My bb is kinda busy these days but his msg makes me warm and dun feel like being upset or having a bad mood..but hope he's taking care of himself as well..^^

When its done..What a mess?

To the one I LOVE

part of it^^

Hope Jacyline will be ok when she's in Aus..I know how she feels and I know it will be tough for her..If you are reading this..Just find me whenever you need someone k?even though we are not that close..but at least we are still in Aus..^^..[my aus hp num-0422442358]

ps./ I won't let it go just that easy..you made the choice and I'll let you regret on doing this decision..just wait and see

Sunday

2010-02-07T20:33:00.000+08:00

Woo~its so not me..sunday waking up in this kind of time?XD..yup..woke up at 9 something to prepare myself for the outing with my girls..hehe..

Lina texted me to inform us that she'll be late and was hang around on facebook and plurk to spend my time..after that me and Zi Ying reach "old place" on time as well as Lina..Nan come after but hmm..one more..where's Fiona???=.="..she always late..but today she was late for 30 minutes.."Fiona!!!We gonna leave you behind if you are late next time!"..haha..

All of us were starving and went to desert house for lunch..after that we went bourke street to shop and digest our lunch..bought one pair of heel in Emporio..dun really remember that the heel I bought izit the one I saw before I went back to Pg and wanted it badly when I was in Pg(Lina said it the same one)..but the heel I saw before cost AUD180 and guess what?the one I bought cost me AUD70!!!!

OMG!!!Its just 2 month plus nearly 3 months..This is damn crazy!!!!but I didn't get to have the brown or even gold one coz it left size 10..sob sob..but the black one is also nice..so I bought the black one..hehe..

wondering around

the girls

We then went to Max B***** for CHOCOLATE..one of our favorite shop..^^..

the best waffle ♥ it most^^

dip

cold chocolate

hot dark choco

It was so full and satisfied after all the eating and chatting..XD..we then went to buy boxes coz Lina's going to make her dear Mike Valentine's present..^^..feb 14th is around the corner..haiz..first year valentine's not going to be with him kinda sad but..haha..maybe its also a good thing I guess?ok..back to topic..It was 5 and all the shop are closing so we have no place to go anymore and decide to go to Nan's apartment..chat and chat and chat..kinda tired and sleepy..XD

went back around 6.30pm coz someone is finally free..since I came back till now..I'm the one who calling him..he didn't even ask me to call him at all..=.=..but maybe because last night..I felt so worm and nice and hope to hear his voice much more longer..but..piggy not enough sleep and my hp low batt so..ciao..=)

One of my ex-classmate actually finds me in msn just now and said there is something very urgent that he needs my help..I was very curious and asked him what happened?then he just ask "breast for 32A is how many cm?"=.="..but in the end he told me that he wanna buy a dress for her gf and ask me weather its suitable for her or not?how lovely he is..haha..he bought her a necklet and ear ring from po kong..and a dress for her..he said he just want her to be happy..=)..what can I say?haha..*Simon and Hui Ling I hope you guys will be happy forever and always that sweet^^ *

I hope I will get something from him also..but I know I won't..haha..so just forget about it..maybe I'll be lucky to get something in my dream..=p

ok la..I was just joking..anyway..wish all of you happy cyn and had a sweet valentine's..^_<

ps./ Agian..Its monday

Nice Saturday

2010-02-06T15:51:00.000+08:00

I wasn't in the mood last night and drink a bottle of bacardi..I dunno what's in my mind..just drink it like fruit juice even though I was a bit sick..feel like shouting..or just a release...when to bed after that without saying a word..rolling on the bed for 13 hours..yet..still felt tired..

Went breakfast with Zi Ying(my new roommate) at 10.30 this morning..had a very long chat but the place we sit is so damn cold we just leave after one and a half hours..went to the shop beside[party shop] to have a look..there a lot of stuff for party and the balloons are also very beautiful..=p..and the things there wasn't that expensive also..then we went to the market and bought a lot of stuff..happy that finally there is someone to share the food..We then went to a few book stores, asian supermarket and QV..

While talking with Zi Ying..she reminds me of something..

Lynn was my friend and I screw up everything just because I think what is better for her..Angel was my friend that I won't think we'll be that close and end up strangers now..I treat ppl good doesn't mean they will be the same..yet I'm glade that I had a lot of true friends that appreciate me and I LOVE THEM ALL..

ps./ Do you know that I'm waiting for you every night just for you to have some time with me?But I guess you'll never know that..Going to move on even its going to futher us apart

Because I'm A Girl

2010-02-06T15:50:00.001+08:00

Listen to the same song everyday but it wasn't that much feeling..yet every time whenever I see the video..I just can't stop my tears..

*Because I'm a Girl*

Sometimes things will happened without you noticing it..you won't know what will happened in the next second..but every time ppl will only value once they loose it..this is so call "Human Nature"..

I keep asking myself..should I follow my heart?Or should I just follow my mind?But thing won't be perfect after all..Life is about give and take..no matter how perfect you are you'll always be imperfect..

ps./ Following my heart

sleepless nights

2010-02-01T19:17:00.000+08:00

Notice that I can't sleep after I came here if I'm not tired enough..guess I had been working hard for the first few days before college started..haha..

Things changed..I'm not use to be the same old me anymore..I dunno why..

But I had been drinking everyday just like drinking water [actually one day one bottle nia la..dunno when will get diabetes ==]

I wanna sleep la..ARG!!!!WTF!!!Everyday like this how am I going to concentrate on study and do well wor?haiz..

I'm sorry..I said horrible things..I didn't meant to..but I really feel that way..Its just that..I'm actually too childish..noting really happened but I just find problem to make myself sad..

Dear, I'm sorry..=( [I know you can't see it also but..haiz..]

I hope I just can be stronger and not being ur burden anymore..

Had my student ID back within 3 hours after I had paid for 20 bucks to get a new want..haiz..RM60++ fly away liao lo..everytime so careless..very good lo..=.=

Anyway..going to check for the flight ticket tomorrow..the sooner I get the lesser I will be spending..I know you think birthday isn't any special day..but I hope I can make up something special this year.. [will be creaking my head @@]

ps./Just pretending doesn't really help anything

2010-01-30T23:33:00.000+08:00

I just let myself did it again

I'm still who I am

Why can't I just say out my feeling?

When I'm always expecting him to know my feeling and what I want?

Anyway thanks to my friends from Penang

I have great time chatting with them and I'm happy with that

Its more than enough

ps./ You won't discover and I'm not passive

Back to Mel

2010-01-28T16:29:00.000+08:00

26th of Jan is the National Day for Australia..Its also the day I reach Melbourne..

Had 3 new housemates but I forgot one of their name..oops..sorry..

Its the same corner..same 412..same room and bed with all the pix and note on the wall..but the feeling wasn't the same anymore..

Went for lunch after I put my luggage with Alvin, Nan and Aaron..I was so damn hungry coz didn't had anything at all when I'm in the flight..but in the end I just ate tomyam soup..=.=

Alvin told me that she want Zhi Hong to come and find me..In the end she ask Zhi Hong to took everything without showing herself and without informing me..

you know what?

I shouldn't be crying and being upset but you are the one who should be feeling ashamed of yourself..

If you dare then just talk to me face by face..no need to ask through so many people..asking so many things..you are so damn fake you know?

I'm so damn bad luck to have 2 classes with you in this sem..

you wanna make your story and talk non-sense just go ahead..I'll just ignore you from now on..

It was hard for me for the first few days and I just tried very hard to let myself happy and ignore the things that I shouldn't be caring..So we went for the celebration even thought I'm very tired due to the flight was on the same day..but it was worth it..

The firework was so beautiful..[really can't get it in Malaysia..XD]..and I'm happy to see them after I reach Mel..

I stay with Lina that night..and on the way back only I know that the are no street light at night in housing place..Its so dark and scary..>_<..but Lina's house is big..I wish I get to move in and stay with her when I'm in Uni..hehe..

Went college on the 2nd day to collect time table..and its so 'efficient'..'better' than Malaysia so much..until my back and leg felt pain and numb..dun even have the strength to walk after that also..8 HOURS of queueing and squeezing and standing I can just say Taylors'...SUCK!!!!wasted my whole day doing noting..==

ps./ can't wait to see new babies..

Differences

2010-01-27T20:19:00.000+08:00

Didn't know that there will be so much different even though it wasn't my first time coming to Mel..

I wasn't that unrestrained like the first time..

I'm scare and sad..cried after all the struggle and bear before that day..

Didn't know that I didn't wanna come back to Mel that badly..

After seeing my mum left..it drops..and the moment I saw him..it can't stop..

Didn't even sleep and eat for the whole night in the flight..

I know I should move on..to be stronger and independence..but I feel hard in this time..

I know I'm very stupid coz I still care what SHE did to me..but I just can't stop myself..

I hate to be that weak..Hate to let ppl worry and most of all..I HATE tears..

It shouldn't be in this way..

I shouldn't be cry for days..

But at least I tried to let myself to be happy..

ps./ I'm sorry if I cause a lot of troubles..I just need time

Jan 14th

2010-01-15T02:55:00.000+08:00

Celebrated Maggie's birthday in studio today..It was simple and just a few of us but she seems to be very happy..Maybe coz she's with her dear..^^..
I'm glade and happy as well..and hope she's really happy and enjoy the day..

Went movie after that..since long time didn't watch movie de..

ps./I just wanna thank you babe..and..I love you

Its different

2010-01-14T02:15:00.000+08:00

This is not the first time I'm going to Melbourne but the feeling is totally different..
Its harder this time..Maybe I'm not that confident and strong like I use to be anymore..
It wasn't a mightmare but its still hard to be alone..

I told myself you are noting..but I think I was wrong from the beginning..
I let you enter deeply into my heart and hurt me that badly..even till now..I still can't forget the time and things that we had gone through even both of us are not in the same world..

ps./ new year - new life

Just not strong enough

2010-01-13T02:19:00.000+08:00

Time really flies and ya..its almost time for me to go back to aus..
I just can't stop it when I need to face this..everytime when the memory flash back from the pass, I just hope the time could stop but it won't..
I miss every part of penang and everyone especially him and my family [I know I didn't spend much time with them after I came back] even thouhg I have been taking the same road eveyday and seeing the same ppl often, I just won't feel board..I felt warm and happy which I can't get from Mel..

ps./ I'm greedy and won't satisfied easily coz I have lost the trust but I'm not selfish coz I still love you

DRESS

2009-12-31T02:21:00.000+08:00

had been shopping for this 2 days and spend a lot..but..but..but..I still didn't get to find a dress for saturday..>_<..what am I going to do?I got noting to wear on saturday night..AH~~~~~

I didn't even know what kind of dress I need also..@@

hmm...sob sob..

who can help me?*.*

I'm happy with my life now..even I still care and envy but I feel the love from everyone..I just hope time can just stop for this moment..when I'm with you and you guys..

ps./ A Town Where You Can See The Ocean

christmas eve

2009-12-29T11:44:00.000+08:00

I dunno about you guys but I was so excited for this day to come..and seriously after I think back, there wasn't even once that I really celebrate and enjoy my Christmas Eve or even Christmas..even thought we had roughly plan for this time as well..

I was so excited and happy went I go Penang after my lunch with my family..and you also said I'm every happy on that day *coz I use to be emo everytime I guess...=p*..but things doesn't go on that smooth..I discover that I had left my christmas present at home..I was so angry with myself for my clumsiness and started to moody..and you stare at me when I tickle you after the jock..you even ask me to take my laptop away without letting me know what's going on..I was really sad and angry when you did that to me..I even went to hide and cry when I know that I forgot my present..but you stop training and find me when I'm not in ur sight..and I'm sorry..

I drove them to auto-city at 6 and went back home to take the present..Dyi and bb were the only one took my car..they were so damn noisy at first but in the end both of them sleep like a baby..hehe
I went back to auto-city after I took my stuff..and now only I know that auto world need parking fees..WTF..uncle,you wanna bluff also find some other ppl la..u thought I'm gina know noting de oh?but I didn't fight back with that uncle coz he's busy with another guy that park behind me..

thought the performance will end at 9 but we were still there on 10..and we rush back to Penang after that..coz we going to QEII as what we had planed..when we reach there it was around 11 and that time only we know that Chee Hooi got food poison and Maggie was going to drive him to see doctor..and QEII had change the place to club on that time..so we went for our dinner + supper since everyone didn't had our dinner yet..

upper road mamak was the place that we went count down..*bo form*..after our meal we went church street to have snow beer but there got beer no *snow* = no glass..so we change our location to sin kim san to find Kenny..he's having supper with his friends there..and in the end..we had decide to go BED..reach there 1++ around 2 and it was full so we went RED..open a black label and ya..there was the place we celebrate our Christmas..

Last destination R.E.D

Ah hong's gf really impress me..she pour the half bottle of black label in my bb, kenny and ah hong's glass before we have to left..and 3 of them have to drive..@@..my bb can't drink also drink a lot on that day..so I have to drive in the end..
When back to hostel after I drop Vera and Kuhan..
I finish the rest that being left to complete as a present when he was showering..he kisses me and said thank you when I give it to him..
I was so happy that things finally getting good..but after I finish shower..he already fall asleep..
I cried the whole night and couldn't sleep at all coz he didn't keep his promise..
I pull his pillow and he woke up and hug me but I push him away and he just leave me alone..I get even sad and angry..and send him a msg..then he woke up and walk out when I was sitting at a side crying..but he didn't notice me at all..
he drunk too much and stomach not feeling well..and he reply my msg which he'll nvm do..= got gf cannot hug pillow de meh?
= I get jealous with a pillow..==

we had a talk after that..and I notice that he had changed..
he care about me..he was trying to be a good model..
he wasn't angry with me..he was just trying to be responsible..
he wasn't scolding me..he was just trying to be fair..
I'm sorry that's what I mean..

He then took my ipod and started to play "stand by me"..sharing part of the head set and hug me into his arm..looking at me and singing the song..
"wonderful night" was the next..I feel like crying at that time..but I didn't..
he kisses me on my forehead after the word "I Love You"..
it was the first time I heard from him..not like but love..not text but voice..

ps./ I felt the love from all of you

Happy Sunday

2009-12-28T21:15:00.000+08:00

The smile was always there whenever I looked at you..Its so warm and sweet..eventhough I can't sleep the whole night..

I think you didn't get to sleep well as well..coz whenever I looked at you, you'll look back..

you didn't wake me up the next day..but I felt bad for being lazy and sleep until so late..since ur mum and sis woke up that early..

I usually dun have breakfast but aunty bought a lot of things for me but sorry aunty..I can't finish everything..

went auto-city to take my car after breakfast and bought breakfast back for my sis and mate..and something really bad just happened..=My mate ran away=

after looking through the CCTV, I went back to his house to have lunch..

I was so clumsy that I didn't help his mum and sit there day dreaming the whole day *sorry*..

went for shopping with my sis in the evening and movie with ah dyi, his friend, yunn, and bb at night *wait till wanna sleep de*..

even we are tired..we had a great time..wink..

ps./ Happy with my life

short day

2009-12-23T00:43:00.000+08:00

I was angry the day before but..hmm..I went to penang again in the end..
realize that I got noting to do except for traveling to penang everyday..to see you..even a every short time..

I dun care anything anymore..I gonna just do what ever that makes me happy..
and if u are not going to tell me anything then I dun care..its up to you to let me know anything that you want..

meet up with maggie after lunch to look for christmas present..but both of us end up with empty hand..>_<..
I dunno what to get..maybe a photo frame?earing?....still didn't know what to get..

anyway looking foward for christmas eve..^^..
me and maggie plan to go someplace to drink..eat and have fun for our favourite x'mas..hehe..

ps./ dun forget our deal oh..^_<

2009-12-21T23:29:00.000+08:00

stop being so naive

wake up and grow up

stop being an idiot..fooling around

Rely makes the fear

2009-12-21T23:22:00.000+08:00

It wasn't about trust..It wasn't fear..Its just rely that makes me emotional..

I envy..
I didn't know what to do..
and I know it deeply in my heart that what is the feeling of theirs to be left behind being single..

Things went wrong when u never care..
I'm in the wild..you nvm tie me before..
so dun ask coz you let me..you are being careless again..

Time flies..one more month and I'll be leaving..
I just dun wanna waste any time anymore..
and hope tat the next plan will work..really looking forward for it..

ps./ I'm afraid to trust

Sorry

2009-12-20T00:34:00.000+08:00

I know sorry won't change thing that had been done and it doesn't gain back the trust that had been broke..
its just like a broken glass..even its fixed..rifts are still there..

you are the same in front of others..but not me..
I dunno how I can gain back the trust from you..but its not fair..
I'm not the only one who did wrong..but I'm the one who bearing all the fault..
and now you don't speak..you won't tell..

I hate tears but it just won't stop..
didn't realise that you can cause so much pain on me..
the so-call I dun care, whatever and anything bring up more than I had expected
the feeling and the love that I had and give are totally different from my past..
but when I tried to let it go..it hurts more than what I can bear..when it can be simple and easy

maybe I should just keep my mouth shut when I'm the happiest gal in the world
but what is done its done..I had no regret on telling you everything even it turns up to be this way..

maybe we just need some time and I won't give up that easy to gain back ur trust

ps./ its like using a knife stab throught my heart when you decide to leave me

Irresponsible

2009-12-16T00:54:00.000+08:00

I was excited and tried every single chance to meet you up..but its weird..when I saw you I just get angry but when you are not with me..I just wanna stay with you badly..==..I totally dunno what I'm trying to do and what I really want..

I felt bad when I left my siblings alone coz I have the responsible to take care them..I choose to be with you but in the end I still have to go back..

my parents are coming back on thursday..I wanna spend the rest of the time with you..but I still can't left my siblings behind..

I got a lot of things to tell but I dunno how..its like when I'm trying to talk to my mum..I have to think and memorize what I'm going to tell her before I talk to her..same thing happened to you as well..==..I just dunno get it..why I can't just speak out in front of ppl I love..

I'm not strong..I'm childish..I'm noting but a simple girl yet I just wanna let you know that I love you

ps./ 幸福离我们很近。。但。。我们都忘了靠近

Think too much

2009-12-16T00:15:00.000+08:00

OMG.. seriously I'm not pregnant..=.=..and I had been like that since the day I came back and its just getting serious only..its just some stomach problem..

vera and you, you guys think too much de k?so pls dun ask me anything about that anymore

This few days, whenever I look at the love bite through the mirror, I felt warm but sad as well..I tried to hide, cover it with my hair..but I had fail to not let everyone see it..I didn't know that I care so much for letting ppl see when things turn up this way..Its totally different feeling..or maybe I'm just scare and loose the trust that you had build it?

Had a drink with Maggie and Vera on Sunday..It was the worst day I have ever had for my whole life for taking beer..maybe my stomach problem doesn't allow me to drink that much..I didn't know that taking alcohol can cause so much pain..and trust me..its really bad until you won't wanna take any single sip of it anymore..

anyway, thanks to Maggie and Vera for spending time with me even though I'm still hesitating now..but I'm sure everything will be fine when time comes by

and sorry for driving me back as well

and thanks to you for taking care of me after that

the smell..the touch..the voice and laughter are all over me even though you are not with me..I can't resist myself for staying apart with you but I know I shouldn't be

Sometimes, I just hope you are not who you are..

dun keep on giving excuse and appreciate it before you loose it

but you'll still be you

persevere or give up?Its still a choice

ps./ You are noting but a passerby

Trying

2009-12-02T15:18:00.000+08:00

you are working hard

trying your best to fulfill my needs

and I'm trying to be optimize as well

but noting is perfect

when I saw you holding her hand

I felt pain from my heart

and it reminds me the past

when we were in Charles's house with your ex

no matter how hard I try to forget

it always bothers me

even though I told myself to trust you

and just enjoy what we are having for now

ps./ I just hope I can be stronger

Mr.Green

2009-11-24T17:44:00.000+08:00

until now the feeling is still there

when the first time I touch it

my heart beat differently

and I just can't accept that this is happening

I'm sorry

I'm really sorry

its body wasn't cold

its color doesn't change much like they said

but it become fatter compare to the last time I saw him

and the feeling was totally different

its like everything inside was not join together anymore

everytime I'm not to one who settled them

but now I know how it feels to throw them away

ps./ no one knows what's gonna happened next

appreciate what you are having

Yeah

2009-11-23T19:55:00.000+08:00

yahoo

now I can just write my blog without worrying

coz I had lock my blog

had a long talk with May last night

I hope she gets better

and both of us can be stronger

it was happy

it was touch

it was sad

but everything is over

it remains me of something

and like Maggie said "trust" is the thing to tighten us

ps./ there is a bright light coming out from the dark

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

2009-11-22T04:25:00.000+08:00

Nov 21st
I'm getting older every year when come to this day
A lot of expectation for every year and for this year as well

I'm happy with those who remember my birthday
and I got 2 suprise for this year
thanks to
*Maggie*bb*chee hooi*ashley*er jie*Cisi*Kuhan*
they celebrated my birthday earlier coz my bb and Cisi won't be here

its simple but nice and warm coz I get to be with all of them
but someone is missing and if she was there everything will be perfect
I know she got things to do but hopefully we can gather again with no one absent

with the uncle..xp

Maggie

in coffee island

ashley and cisi

1st cake

I love you..muackss^^

wondering how to cut the cake

amm

as for today
I was shock that I didn't expect anyone to celebrate with me anymore
but thanks to
*yee fung*wei lit*steampek*JxHia*Mig*one of the twins*

they bought a cake for me
and I have to say sorry to them coz I dun eat coffee and the smell of coffee is very thick so I didn't have it
but I'm very touch and happy and also sorry
[but seriously I didn't like to eat the candle..mig try to push me 3 times but I just get to broken the candle but my strength was not that bad after all]

and I'm glade that I get to see Vera on today also^^

the cake for today in studio

and of course my family
they are the one who celebrate with me each year no matter I celebrate with my friends or not

3rd cake

making wishes

thanks for all the wishes and all of you that remember my birthdays
I'm not alone coz I got u guys^^
XOXO[haha..JxHia teach de]
hope everyone have a nice day as well

didn't really took much pix
but more pix will be uploading soon

ps./ I was waiting and finally there is it
I love you and miss you badly
I'll be more optimise

wondering around

2009-11-22T02:47:00.000+08:00

everyone is working hard

doing their own role

and what am I doing?

nothing

wondering around

searching for the path

you are right

I shouldn't be like this

and I shouldn't be looking thing so seriously

as everytime I get hurt badly when I do so

I hope I can search for the answer for these 10 days

choose the correct way so that I won't regret for it

but I just wanna let you know

if you dun LOVE you won't CARE

I really feel empty and tired recently even I'm back

everything was not the same anymore

I felt the distance between each other

everyone is going their own way

and I'm still hoping that the day would just be like it use to be

maybe I'm the only one who is going round and round

searching for the same thing and remaining the same when people are improveing and changed to be better

I dunno what I'm trying to express and I dunno what I really want

I want to speak it out loudly

I want someone to talk to

but even I had

I can't feel any better

everything can't work out on my own

and I know sometimes I shouldn't be putting so much effort in something even though I want it and love it badly

like May said

if ones doesn't know how to appreciate then you should move on

you want me to trust you

you let me trust you

but you are also the one who let me afraid in believing you

I just want a simple love

like every girl does

but maybe I should be more optimise

and things will get better

ps./ I care coz I love

the so-call "problems" which mean noting for you are things that girls usually comsider coz they care

end of the 5

2009-11-14T20:02:00.000+08:00

yesterday was the last day for 5 of us to hang out

coz I come back very late and so damn tired

now only get to upload

we went FOD in the afternoon for shopping

[ I really got terror for shopping de ]

after that we went Crown

haha

not for the casino la

but to play

like that place so much

since I'm here for months

I dun have the feeling of going to western country

coz its so like asian country with asian ppl

but that place change my feeling

the street

the restaurant

and the feeling were so damn nice

we went Eureka, the tallest apartment in the world I guess or just Mel

[ haha..don't care la ]

and went up to 88th floor by 36 second

cool har?

but ear kinda pain

Eureka

the night view

mike de face

see the sunset and went for skydeck is the reason why we where there

the skydeck is so fucking cool

there are sound effort when we move out

and when u see down from there

you really feel the fear

so damn cool~~~~

pix in skydeck

and after we came out

its already 10 and we were starving

so we went to had western food

me and fiona took a lot of pix after that

but pity us

coz no one welling to help us to take pic

but there're still a lot of ppl welling to help us even we didn't ask them^^

aiya~recently de blog will be very messy de

coz I'm very steam this few days when I'm blogging

so that's all la

dunno what to right de

and I have to pack

but lazy

haha

ps./ happy with life when you are with ppl who appreciate you

st kilda

2009-11-12T21:59:00.000+08:00

tired till wanna die de

>_<

met up with Lina, Mike, Fiona, Nan today

was excited for this day

but I dunno I was too excited or I can't sleep early

I didn't get to sleep well and I woke up early today

haha..like what I had expected

Lina can't wake up today and meet us late

and me, Nan and Fiona were chating and taking pix while waiting for her

nan from Thailand and fiona from Indonesia

me and nan

we went Nando's for lunch

then go shopping again

before we go st kilda, the nearest beach

in Nando's

like the design

in bourke street

the so call "bird street" xp

I love the shorts but its too short ==

me and our big boss XD

>_<

I have been shopping for days

and I spent a lot for these days

feel like killing myslef

back to topic

since we got no where to shop

we went beach earlier

around 3.30 pm

and at first its cloudy but turn sunny when we were going to the beach

here we are..wee~~~

lina from Malaysia and Indonesia and mick from HK

it was so damn nice

the beach * wind * sun

I'm like in the heaven..XD

the sand wasn't that fine but it doesn't hurt

the sea water wasn't that sticky and its cold

its so clear that we can see everything

the sun was so big but the cool wind just make it perfect

it was awesome

make me feel like sleeping and had sun bath

its so comfortable

let just let the pix explain everything

I'm tired

and still need to pack

here we are

the cute and lovely couple^^

clear and cool

jelly fish been wash to the seashore

I just love it^^

Mick is helping himself up to be the mermaid

our new sista

that's how u feel when u are in the beach

we when "xiao wei yang" for steamboat

dinner time

there will be more pix coming by these 2 days

coz I didn't get the pix yet and lazy to upload the rest

too much~~~~

oh ya~

I might be moving out

so might not have time to update the holidays I'm having in Mel

ps./ thanks for accepting as who I am

I'm cool, so what?

Thanks for everything

2009-11-10T22:38:00.000+08:00

I thought u need me a lot

and now only I realize

I need you more actually

tear and joy

everything we have been through

I dunno why

and I dunno what's going on

It was hard and I can't go through

but I'm accepting everything now

I woke up

and you will no longer be the one I rely on anymore

thanks for being my friend even you are scare of me

thanks for waking me up

and let me know what's more suitable for me

ps./ Life go on

A nice outing

2009-11-10T19:40:00.000+08:00

yahoo~~~

today went shopping with Lina

it was so damn fun

and I'm glade I went out with her today^^

let see

I bought 3 dress 4 singlet and 2 jacket

I think I spent too much for today

and tomorrow still going to Smith Street

and it was out of my expectation that I bought all that

haha

changing look

but a bit weird

>_<

hopefully I won't waste $200

some pix from the fitting room..xp

but it doesn't look nice

and i got continuous 3 pimples on the same place

bought jor the top but not the jean

I like the blue want but in the end I bought the green want..haha

and Lina bought a pink want

I'm so fat and my leg muscle are so big

or maybe I should just wear long pants

oh oh

found out something between me and Lina

our taste are the same also

haha

we went for some drink after shopping

but I forgot the name de

but what I heard from Lina is

its quite famous and the chocolate is so damn expensive

waffler and ice chocolate

so weird de logo

*kai xin guo*

DRINK ME

after that I went for basketball

but I left early coz Henry's exam is coming

and there's a lot of guys and I dunno them at all

but I was having fun also coz I get to sweat

YES!!!finally got the feeling of playing basketball de

haha

thanks to both of them

I enjoy my day very much

all the best for Henry in his exam

and hope he get his scholarship

and as for Lina I can't wait to meet her up again and go beach^^

and happy 3 months for her and her bf

ps./ I know you work very hard and I should be as well

6 more days

2009-11-09T16:46:00.000+08:00

promises are meant to be broke?

again

another is being broke

haiz

no haagen daze for birthday de lur

gonna celebrate with family this year I guess

waited very long

thought everything can be settled

yet you forgot our promise

I'm not the right person to talk to

I know that clearly

and that's the biggest problem we are having

a bit of disappointed but we'll talk about it when I go back

at least everything is fine now^^

6 more days to go

I had been sleeping the whole day

didn't even walk out from this apartment for 3 days

laptop was on for more than 72 hours

HUH!!!

seriously

that's so not me

how can I stay in the room for so long

but I did it

gonna go out tomorrow

if not I gonna be crazy

but tomorrow gonna be hotter than today

34 degree~~~

>_<

getting dizzy after seeing the temperature

Malaysia also not so hot

at least it was raining this few days

but I like summer

hurray to the shiny sun

I think after get use to the sudden change I'll be super duper happy

being lazy

but might be cleaning up my stuff

and start to pack

bb said iguana has lost his tail

pity Mr. Green

but I think it will grow back

temporary just be short tail Mr. Green la^^

ps./ can wait to see what is that

* excited *

misunderstanding

2009-11-08T19:19:00.000+08:00

hahaha

its actually a misunderstanding

and because of my "good" imagination

I let things turn worst

but lucky things doesn't like what I had imagine

we gonna talk everything

and things will be fine

ps./ back to who I am

peace^^

Back to the past

2009-11-08T11:02:00.000+08:00

It hurts badly

I just hope everything can be fine

I hope everything will be erase and being replace

I make like it doesn't matter

I make like I doesn't care

but it hurts more than everything after that

even you pretend noting happened

I still can't accept it

I miss you badly

I just hope we are happy

I hope everything just go back before this

I hate the sadness

ps./ I'll find a better way and won't let 8 happened again

What just happened

2009-11-08T10:59:00.000+08:00

I dunno what you want

and I'm trying to control my tears coz I have to be strong

yet I can't make it now

its so tiring but I still can't stop it at all

why everything can't be smooth

why every time there must be something happened when one is end

there is noting wrong with us

yet both of us are not happy

both of us are suffering now

what's going on

what exactly is the problem between us

I dunno what I have to do to let you know that I'm not sad with you

you are not the one who make me sad and cry every time

and I always get emo is my personality not because of you

and I'm trying to change that as well

and you are not useless

maybe you are stress with your work

but you didn't tell me anything at all

and now what I can do is just guess

I hate all this

can't we just talk out everything

you said before we can said everything

ps./ I hope I won't wake up so that I can stop my mind

I'll always be there

2009-11-06T13:45:00.000+08:00

dunno why

I can't express that sudden sadness I'm having

its noting touch

its noting special

yet after seeing your blog

my heart suddenly felt pain

like needles pricking on it

maybe I felt the pain you are having

or maybe I felt sad coz you are not happy

but I just wanna tell you

even we are far apart

I'll still be there for all of you

coz I LOVE ALL OF YOU

Its hard

yet everything is possible

so don't let distance drag our friendship away

you know what?

I always feel lonely and sad

always feel like giving up and go back

go back to the place I'm familiar with and with all the people I love and care

yet I'm just like a baby

* not mature * not strong * always manja only *

even thought I wanna stay with all of you so badly

I can't give up anything more then my future

and I should stay strong with my decision that I had made with no regret and starts to grow up

I'm accepting the challenges in my life

walking through all that

and I'm happy with what I'm for now

coz i notice I have change in these few days

* HAPPY *

is the key

I dunno did I really change or that is just temporary

but I'm glade that I'm for this few days

coz even life is tough I still can walk through it happily

so you must cheer also k?

I'll always be there whenever you need me^^

today is the last day for my exam

hurray~~~

haha

even thought it has no different

but hey~I'm going back soon!!!

9 & 1/2 days

haha

gonna pack my luggage later

oh ya

me and Lina plan to go somewhere before we go back

so we'll be planning for tonight I guess

coz both of us are the only one who finish our exam first

beach~~~zoo~~~here we come~~~

haha

and this is what happened when we had lunch

not much

but I miss one shoot on Adrian with his funny face

haha

when Lina was thinking of Mick..haha

see ancient de face..xp

noting to write de

hope everyone have a nice day

tata^^

ps./ my previous post is so damn ugly>_<

who is that not bad looking guy?haha

Selected

2009-11-05T17:36:00.000+08:00

I like to read blog but i guess today is my bad day

but i didn't know that you miss me so much XD

and since you miss me that much

ok la

I answer ur question

幸福點點名遊戲規則回答下列問題，貼到自己的網誌or報台寫完後，自己加一個問題然後傳給十個人，可以點點過的人，被你點的人你要去跟他說，我點到你了。寫完後去跟點到你人說「我寫完了」不可以不寫喔，不寫幸福就會跑掉喔...

1.我的大名：Jamie Tan

2.我的生日 : 21/11

3.誰傳給你的 : 陈大肥

4.說出五個好朋友 : 每个都很好耶>_<

5.生日想要得到什麼禮物 : 啊~自己喜欢的东西[touch,psp,camera,phone,clothes,special,etc] XD

[我生日快到了，礼物~~哈哈]

6.近期開心的是 : 学会了不在在乎，开心就好

还有还有，要回家了~yeah~~~

7.近期壓力大的是 : 考试但已经过了 = 没有

8.未來想做什麼: 想了19年。。想着~

9.有沒有喜歡的人 : 有~~~还很多个噢^^

10.同學會要回去找老師嗎 : 回去找番薯噢？=p

11.跟誰出去最幸福 : 我喜欢的人。。对啦~就是你们^^

12.如果你的兩個好友吵架了 : 伤心

13.跟情人出去最想去哪 : 哪里都行，只要有他就好

14.聖誕節要做啥 : 那么大的节日当然是跟我最爱的你们出门咯。。

不过也想去新加坡~~~但妈妈不给=(

15.最想跟誰過聖誕節 : 朋友，当然还有我的bb

16.有沒有起床气 : 啊。。什么是起床气？

17.有幾個兄弟姐妹 : 3，2个可爱的妹妹还有一个gao gao的弟弟

[外加的数不清]

18.最喜歡的一首歌(女生的) : I wanna love you forever（呱？）

19.最喜歡的一首歌(男生的) : unbreakable(呱？还是）

nothing gonna change my love for you（不懂）

20.喜歡什麼顏色 : 紫，红，orange，青，黑，白

- E~好像都喜欢耶=p

21.上廁所會不會先沖水 : 如果人家没冲就会

22.愛不愛我 : 爱死你啊。。哈哈

23.喜歡男生還是女生 : 都喜欢

24.最想大聲說什麼 : 啊！！！！！（呱）

25.半夜敢不敢自己上廁所 : =.=我不会尿床的。。哈哈。。

26.上廁所會不會脫褲褲 : 我不是一岁小妹妹

27.誰很欠打 : 没有脑，惹人厌的人

28.現在很迷什麼 : facebook，因为不会阻止我继续八卦XD

29.睡相很差 : 不会呱？自己怎么知道阿？你来帮我答吧

30.現在的時間 : 2112

31.是否痛恨傳給你點卷的人 : 哈哈。。不会拉。。超“喜欢”的

32.體重多少 : 50哎~[10天后就会剩45。。放心。。哈哈]

33.今天天氣 : 不错，太阳很大但外面有点冷

34.你懷孕了嗎 : 没做哪来的怀孕啊？

35.你若中樂透最想做什么 : 旅行，血拼，吃美食，存银行

36.大學生一定要玩的活動 : 有这种东西噢？那我说"Let's party~~~"哈哈

37.如果能為彩虹添加一種顏色你選：白

38.你覺得友情是真心的么 : 现实点很少，跟你好的又怎样？那不代表些什么

但我还是相信在我身边的都是真心的^^[除了一些]

39.你身高多少: 155cm [我们陈家最矮的,TT]

40.你的学校 : TaylorsCollege

41.如果你的女朋友比你高/你的男朋友比你矮，你能接受吗？: 哈哈。。到目前没有，也不可能有。

42.现在想干嘛?: 睡觉。。超累的>_<

43. 喜欢做的事情 : 发呆，打球，跳舞，看戏，看漫画，听歌。。。。。写不完

E~~~~

Selected list *

*Vera

*Nicx

............

coz your blog gonna full of spider web de XD

Short post

2009-11-02T18:38:00.000+08:00

I feel happy

coz I have u

I know I'm weak

I know I'm not mature

yet I'm luck to have you

you always cheer me up

bring me laughter

and I just hope this will never end

maybe I'm jealous

maybe I'm lonely

but noting really matters anymore

I have been released because of you

I'll learnt to be more mature

I'll learnt to grow up

and to be strong

I learnt from my mistake

I know what I should do and I have to do

and I'll get rid of the emo side of me

now just hope my exam pass faster

I'll beat you down

even I can't for this time

I'll be sure for the next one

I won't let you spoilt my life

I miss you guys badly

* CISI * MAGGIE * VERA * ASHLEY

* DEAN * EN *

and the most important want

SOO JIA YONG and my family of cause

14 days left

haha

going back to study de

I'll beat you down

ps./ even though you didn't give up

yet its different when u are in different situation