I just let myself did it again

I'm still who I am

Why can't I just say out my feeling?

When I'm always expecting him to know my feeling and what I want?

Anyway thanks to my friends from Penang

I have great time chatting with them and I'm happy with that

Its more than enough

ps./ You won't discover and I'm not passive

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Back to Mel

26th of Jan is the National Day for Australia..Its also the day I reach Melbourne..

Had 3 new housemates but I forgot one of their name..oops..sorry..

Its the same corner..same 412..same room and bed with all the pix and note on the wall..but the feeling wasn't the same anymore..

Went for lunch after I put my luggage with Alvin, Nan and Aaron..I was so damn hungry coz didn't had anything at all when I'm in the flight..but in the end I just ate tomyam soup..=.=

Alvin told me that she want Zhi Hong to come and find me..In the end she ask Zhi Hong to took everything without showing herself and without informing me..

you know what?

I shouldn't be crying and being upset but you are the one who should be feeling ashamed of yourself..

If you dare then just talk to me face by face..no need to ask through so many people..asking so many things..you are so damn fake you know?

I'm so damn bad luck to have 2 classes with you in this sem..

you wanna make your story and talk non-sense just go ahead..I'll just ignore you from now on..

It was hard for me for the first few days and I just tried very hard to let myself happy and ignore the things that I shouldn't be caring..So we went for the celebration even thought I'm very tired due to the flight was on the same day..but it was worth it..

The firework was so beautiful..[really can't get it in Malaysia..XD]..and I'm happy to see them after I reach Mel..

I stay with Lina that night..and on the way back only I know that the are no street light at night in housing place..Its so dark and scary..>_<..but Lina's house is big..I wish I get to move in and stay with her when I'm in Uni..hehe..

Went college on the 2nd day to collect time table..and its so 'efficient'..'better' than Malaysia so much..until my back and leg felt pain and numb..dun even have the strength to walk after that also..8 HOURS of queueing and squeezing and standing I can just say Taylors'...SUCK!!!!wasted my whole day doing noting..==

ps./ can't wait to see new babies..

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Differences

Didn't know that there will be so much different even though it wasn't my first time coming to Mel..

I wasn't that unrestrained like the first time..

I'm scare and sad..cried after all the struggle and bear before that day..

Didn't know that I didn't wanna come back to Mel that badly..

After seeing my mum left..it drops..and the moment I saw him..it can't stop..

Didn't even sleep and eat for the whole night in the flight..

I know I should move on..to be stronger and independence..but I feel hard in this time..

I know I'm very stupid coz I still care what SHE did to me..but I just can't stop myself..

I hate to be that weak..Hate to let ppl worry and most of all..I HATE tears..

It shouldn't be in this way..

I shouldn't be cry for days..

But at least I tried to let myself to be happy..

ps./ I'm sorry if I cause a lot of troubles..I just need time

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Jan 14th

Celebrated Maggie's birthday in studio today..It was simple and just a few of us but she seems to be very happy..Maybe coz she's with her dear..^^..
I'm glade and happy as well..and hope she's really happy and enjoy the day..

Went movie after that..since long time didn't watch movie de..

ps./I just wanna thank you babe..and..I love you

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Its different

This is not the first time I'm going to Melbourne but the feeling is totally different..
Its harder this time..Maybe I'm not that confident and strong like I use to be anymore..
It wasn't a mightmare but its still hard to be alone..


I told myself you are noting..but I think I was wrong from the beginning..
I let you enter deeply into my heart and hurt me that badly..even till now..I still can't forget the time and things that we had gone through even both of us are not in the same world..

ps./ new year - new life

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Just not strong enough

Time really flies and ya..its almost time for me to go back to aus..
I just can't stop it when I need to face this..everytime when the memory flash back from the pass, I just hope the time could stop but it won't..
I miss every part of penang and everyone especially him and my family [I know I didn't spend much time with them after I came back] even thouhg I have been taking the same road eveyday and seeing the same ppl often, I just won't feel board..I felt warm and happy which I can't get from Mel..

ps./ I'm greedy and won't satisfied easily coz I have lost the trust but I'm not selfish coz I still love you

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