Things changed

am I too childish?

the first time I really get mad with him

yet that was too fast for me to forgive him

Oh my

can't really know what kind of person I have been changing to

use to be

* barbarous *

* tyrannical *

* hot temper *

* bear grudges *

but it seems to be different now

to improve...

to be better I guess

maybe I should stop dreaming and come back to the real world

stop my imagination

which always bring me down when things does go on my way

Its time for me to start learning how to "Trust" I guess

or I should be more confident with myself

didn't really know what's the problem is

but I still believe

* everything will be fine when the time comes *

ps./ You were always there when I was thinking of giving up

You were always there when I loss myself

You give me confident

give me strength

You teaches me to be strong

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boring

waiting is a kind of toucher

from excited to disappoint then angry

i can't pull back my emotion

yet i tried

waiting..waiting..and still.....waiting

start to curious about what people said

should i believe?

no idea

maybe i should stop dreaming and imagine

go back to the real world and start to know the real you

ps./ Do I really dunno you?

or i just pretend to?

i wonder

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reminds me

just finish reading Koukou Debut

or should i said watch?

hmm..i wonder

anyway its a comic

the leading gal wasn't something like me

and the leading guy also noting like my boyfriend

its totally opposite character i guess

but what reminds me was the frame

he came to send me even he said he might not be coming because he got stomachache

i didn't cry that day

it wasn't what i had expected also

but still i make it in an unusual way

coz i normally not comfortable of being so good with my family

and coz my family were there

i didn't really show my emotion and what i really are in front of my friend

dean give me a letter on that day too

although she's just my friend

i thought of her and the content of the letter which is sticking on my wall now when the frame pop out

maggie said "if the relationship you are having is with your true love, there won't be any problems anymore"

it makes me wonder

wonder what really true love are

coz i'm having problems

and does it mean that he's not my true love?

or should i think it this way

different ppl have their own way of maintaining their relationship

and i worried too much?

he's working hard

he had change

i felt all that

yet i always think a lot

and felt not satisfied even he had changed

coz i dunno him well?

i'm too selfish?

or i'm just not trusting him and myself?

44 days left

i wanna go back faster

i miss him and all my friends

ps./ u always tried to be by my side

and u work hard to let me feel secure

i'm scare but i'm still be trying

thanks for everything

i'm glade i'm with u

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Holidays

two weeks term break going to end soon

hmm

wonder its a good thing or bad

i really dun like having holidays here

but i start to get lazy because of this holiday

haha

so what have i did in this term break

laying on the bed

stay up late

read manga

watch movie

stay at hostel everyday

bla bla bla

any activities?

hehe

like mw so playful de sure got de

we went to KTV on last sunday

the place was so damn nice

and just me, Angel and Zhi Hong went there for the 4 hours singing

but xiao bu dian didn't sing at all

then we went zoo on monday

the zoo was so big and we can't even finish walking the whole zoo for 4 hours

but we enjoyed yourself

we do nonsense and play around

and took a lot of pix too

saw a lot of animals that we didn't saw before in real life

animals that we saw on books and movie are there too

and it was fun

i want to share the feeling

things that i had seen there

but eventually i didn't tell anyone about that in details

ashley said i really do love animals

haha

every time when i said about pets or animals

i'll get very excited and happy

but i'm a strange girl

i like reptiles more

like angel said its my heaven

haha

we celebrated angel's birthday on wednesday

it wasn't here birthday but we celebrated earlier since we are having holidays now

we book a table in Giraffe Cafe

and gather all her friends there before we reach

it was very near to our unilodge

so we can make things easy also

after everything is settled

me and ancient go to the cafe with her

she didn't notice even the cake was just in front of the entrance with her name on it

and due to her short-sightedness she can't even see everyone when we get in

she was curious about why ppl are clapping hand when we enter

and she was totally shock and embarrass when she saw all of them

and had heart attack the 2nd time when we bring out the cake

it wasn't a good party

but at least they enjoy it

i went to Melbourne Music Academic on the same day too

with Tina, my english classmate

and it was wOo~

honestly

i was so ashamed of being one of member in Disaster

i can't catch up with the dance

their warmup are different

the stretching was so feeling

and the hip hop was like our street jazz

the class manage to complete half song in one hour

its so fast and its just for a PURE BEGINNER class

now u can see how poor am i in dancing

still remember that day

when i webcam with u guys

it was so hard and i just turn off the webcam

i miss the life dancing with all of u

even i found a place here

its never the same as we had

i miss all of u

more than i miss my bb

but i still miss him

ps./ life is so tiring

without the challenges

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the Zoo

haven't been blog sometimes and my xiao bu dian is complaining de

(even u stay with me and see me everyday..bot sien meh?)

ok

today gonna write about one of the MELBOURNE ZOO

since its term break

we play to go play

but in the end our plan just left the Zoo

so we plan to go yesterday coz its weekday and there won't be so many ppl

took tram from william street at 12++

and reach there before 1

it actually took 15 minutes to reach

unfortunately we forgot to take a pix in the main entrance

but we took a lot of pix inside

the Zoo is so BIG until we didn't get to finish visiting when they are closing at 5

and the size of the animal also so damn BIG

haha

and we had been doing all the bo bo stuff when taking pix

even our expression are not good and wired

here we are in the entrance of seeing kangaroo

the butterfly farm that had close when we were there

two big baby fighting for kangaroo

frog behind so tiny

like that feeling..hope i can have it at my home=p

the way we rest looks emo

enjoyed the whole day in the zoo

doing non sense and seeing animals that i use to see in the book

................................................................................................................................................................

recently

again

i don't really know what's in my mind

and my reaction getting worst

maybe i can't expect everything that i think to happened

but when one by one went down u

it actually make u lost confident and started to confuse on things that u're doing

*secure*

i really do need that much

but it seems to be getting much more difficult to control and have it

ps./hoping everyone is happy even if i'm not

you don't really need me

trust yourself

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最想要的

it can be very simple

it can be hard

its just a matter of choice

no one knows the future

ppl tried to tresure everything they're having

yet most of us know what's important to us after loosing it

we can hardly treasure everything

coz human are born to be not perfect

everyone tried their best to be the best

everyone tried their best to have the best

but no one will be perfect

i tried hard to be the best

yet not everything can be done by my own

don't you feel gap between us?

or i'm the only one

lack of communication

and all sort of problems we are facing

am i the one who are always worrying

or i just can't feel that u actually care

we are getting further

i tried my best to pull it back

and soemtime

i really feel tired

what i want is just a simple life

a simple trip

a moment we can be together

did u tried

or u just want to break your promises like drinking water

i dun hope and expect much more

maybe i should be satisfied if i have the time with you..

ps./ It was excited then disappoint and empty

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Just being me

you said love is fate

you told me we can share

but you just judging the book by its cover

I'm sick of IT!!!!

I'm being honest

letting you know things that you wanna know every time

and

what is the fact when the answer is

enough to just be friend

what you expecting

a doctor..a lawyer..an engineer

you know better than me

even a person graduate from uni doesn't mean anything at all

and we are se-rounded by all these people

like you said

we are still young

what do u expecting?

he just my boy friend

not my husband

didn't want you to choose a son in law yet please

studies and career are still our first choice

don't make me felt tight again to stop my words when i'm just trying to change and telling you everything

you just simply like to give me hope and smash it again

every time

ps./ I'm not a perfect daughter

Just trying to be one yet its hard

Why can't I just be myself

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cheer

been laying and sleeping on the bed from 7pm to 8am yesterday

haiz

lost again

pek nia

my bb didn't enter astro battleground's audition

hmm

didn't really expected for that

and he's very moody

my job

is to cheer him up of course

even tough i know its not working

i still try my best

i found myself out of the dark

coz i know if i'm moody too i can't try my best to comfort him

i just simple said i know his feeling but do i really feel it?

i scare i'm irritating for him

talking nonsense without knowing what kind of feeling he's having

*last year of battleground*

i dunno how long he had been waiting for these days

and how much he hope to get involve in it

i know i dunno him very well

and i'm crossing the line and taking advantage of being a girl friend

*tight ur partner up* *control ur partner*

that's wat i mean

but anyway i still hope he's ok

and buy blackie blackie back

^^

roughly told him the plan we are having when i go back

and he said "of course"

yaHoO~~~

plan to go travel with all of them during holidays

maybe langkawi, genting, kl, blablabla

dun care

i just wanna enjoy my life with ppl i love

of course this duty will be falling to our even manager, Chee Hooi

haha

miss them lotssss actually

being crazy, bo bo, playful...etc...

miss life hang with them

dancing, party,stem....

lol

can't wait till that day

excited

>_<

but still study first

still having test next week

must prepare in this 2 days

then it will be fun in term break i guess

know more about Melbourne

discover more places and nice food

hehe

ps./ its not end of the world and you're always strong

dun let this bother or stop u from doing things u like

u had prove yourself

i have give up a lot in this bet

i dun wanna lose so please win so that i can be strong too

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