I just let myself did it again

I'm still who I am

Why can't I just say out my feeling?

When I'm always expecting him to know my feeling and what I want?

Anyway thanks to my friends from Penang

I have great time chatting with them and I'm happy with that

Its more than enough

ps./ You won't discover and I'm not passive

Read more

Back to Mel

26th of Jan is the National Day for Australia..Its also the day I reach Melbourne..

Had 3 new housemates but I forgot one of their name..oops..sorry..

Its the same corner..same 412..same room and bed with all the pix and note on the wall..but the feeling wasn't the same anymore..

Went for lunch after I put my luggage with Alvin, Nan and Aaron..I was so damn hungry coz didn't had anything at all when I'm in the flight..but in the end I just ate tomyam soup..=.=

Alvin told me that she want Zhi Hong to come and find me..In the end she ask Zhi Hong to took everything without showing herself and without informing me..

you know what?

I shouldn't be crying and being upset but you are the one who should be feeling ashamed of yourself..

If you dare then just talk to me face by face..no need to ask through so many people..asking so many things..you are so damn fake you know?

I'm so damn bad luck to have 2 classes with you in this sem..

you wanna make your story and talk non-sense just go ahead..I'll just ignore you from now on..

It was hard for me for the first few days and I just tried very hard to let myself happy and ignore the things that I shouldn't be caring..So we went for the celebration even thought I'm very tired due to the flight was on the same day..but it was worth it..

The firework was so beautiful..[really can't get it in Malaysia..XD]..and I'm happy to see them after I reach Mel..

I stay with Lina that night..and on the way back only I know that the are no street light at night in housing place..Its so dark and scary..>_<..but Lina's house is big..I wish I get to move in and stay with her when I'm in Uni..hehe..

Went college on the 2nd day to collect time table..and its so 'efficient'..'better' than Malaysia so much..until my back and leg felt pain and numb..dun even have the strength to walk after that also..8 HOURS of queueing and squeezing and standing I can just say Taylors'...SUCK!!!!wasted my whole day doing noting..==

ps./ can't wait to see new babies..

Read more

Differences

Didn't know that there will be so much different even though it wasn't my first time coming to Mel..

I wasn't that unrestrained like the first time..

I'm scare and sad..cried after all the struggle and bear before that day..

Didn't know that I didn't wanna come back to Mel that badly..

After seeing my mum left..it drops..and the moment I saw him..it can't stop..

Didn't even sleep and eat for the whole night in the flight..

I know I should move on..to be stronger and independence..but I feel hard in this time..

I know I'm very stupid coz I still care what SHE did to me..but I just can't stop myself..

I hate to be that weak..Hate to let ppl worry and most of all..I HATE tears..

It shouldn't be in this way..

I shouldn't be cry for days..

But at least I tried to let myself to be happy..

ps./ I'm sorry if I cause a lot of troubles..I just need time

Read more

Jan 14th

Celebrated Maggie's birthday in studio today..It was simple and just a few of us but she seems to be very happy..Maybe coz she's with her dear..^^..
I'm glade and happy as well..and hope she's really happy and enjoy the day..

Went movie after that..since long time didn't watch movie de..

ps./I just wanna thank you babe..and..I love you

Read more

Its different

This is not the first time I'm going to Melbourne but the feeling is totally different..
Its harder this time..Maybe I'm not that confident and strong like I use to be anymore..
It wasn't a mightmare but its still hard to be alone..


I told myself you are noting..but I think I was wrong from the beginning..
I let you enter deeply into my heart and hurt me that badly..even till now..I still can't forget the time and things that we had gone through even both of us are not in the same world..

ps./ new year - new life

Read more

Just not strong enough

Time really flies and ya..its almost time for me to go back to aus..
I just can't stop it when I need to face this..everytime when the memory flash back from the pass, I just hope the time could stop but it won't..
I miss every part of penang and everyone especially him and my family [I know I didn't spend much time with them after I came back] even thouhg I have been taking the same road eveyday and seeing the same ppl often, I just won't feel board..I felt warm and happy which I can't get from Mel..

ps./ I'm greedy and won't satisfied easily coz I have lost the trust but I'm not selfish coz I still love you

Read more

DRESS

had been shopping for this 2 days and spend a lot..but..but..but..I still didn't get to find a dress for saturday..>_<..what am I going to do?I got noting to wear on saturday night..AH~~~~~

I didn't even know what kind of dress I need also..@@

hmm...sob sob..

who can help me?*.*

I'm happy with my life now..even I still care and envy but I feel the love from everyone..I just hope time can just stop for this moment..when I'm with you and you guys..

ps./ A Town Where You Can See The Ocean

Read more

christmas eve

I dunno about you guys but I was so excited for this day to come..and seriously after I think back, there wasn't even once that I really celebrate and enjoy my Christmas Eve or even Christmas..even thought we had roughly plan for this time as well..

I was so excited and happy went I go Penang after my lunch with my family..and you also said I'm every happy on that day *coz I use to be emo everytime I guess...=p*..but things doesn't go on that smooth..I discover that I had left my christmas present at home..I was so angry with myself for my clumsiness and started to moody..and you stare at me when I tickle you after the jock..you even ask me to take my laptop away without letting me know what's going on..I was really sad and angry when you did that to me..I even went to hide and cry when I know that I forgot my present..but you stop training and find me when I'm not in ur sight..and I'm sorry..


I drove them to auto-city at 6 and went back home to take the present..Dyi and bb were the only one took my car..they were so damn noisy at first but in the end both of them sleep like a baby..hehe
I went back to auto-city after I took my stuff..and now only I know that auto world need parking fees..WTF..uncle,you wanna bluff also find some other ppl la..u thought I'm gina know noting de oh?but I didn't fight back with that uncle coz he's busy with another guy that park behind me..


thought the performance will end at 9 but we were still there on 10..and we rush back to Penang after that..coz we going to QEII as what we had planed..when we reach there it was around 11 and that time only we know that Chee Hooi got food poison and Maggie was going to drive him to see doctor..and QEII had change the place to club on that time..so we went for our dinner + supper since everyone didn't had our dinner yet..


upper road mamak was the place that we went count down..*bo form*..after our meal we went church street to have snow beer but there got beer no *snow* = no glass..so we change our location to sin kim san to find Kenny..he's having supper with his friends there..and in the end..we had decide to go BED..reach there 1++ around 2 and it was full so we went RED..open a black label and ya..there was the place we celebrate our Christmas..

Last destination R.E.D

Ah hong's gf really impress me..she pour the half bottle of black label in my bb, kenny and ah hong's glass before we have to left..and 3 of them have to drive..@@..my bb can't drink also drink a lot on that day..so I have to drive in the end..
When back to hostel after I drop Vera and Kuhan..
I finish the rest that being left to complete as a present when he was showering..he kisses me and said thank you when I give it to him..
I was so happy that things finally getting good..but after I finish shower..he already fall asleep..
I cried the whole night and couldn't sleep at all coz he didn't keep his promise..
I pull his pillow and he woke up and hug me but I push him away and he just leave me alone..I get even sad and angry..and send him a msg..then he woke up and walk out when I was sitting at a side crying..but he didn't notice me at all..
he drunk too much and stomach not feeling well..and he reply my msg which he'll nvm do..= got gf cannot hug pillow de meh?
= I get jealous with a pillow..==


we had a talk after that..and I notice that he had changed..
he care about me..he was trying to be a good model..
he wasn't angry with me..he was just trying to be responsible..
he wasn't scolding me..he was just trying to be fair..
I'm sorry that's what I mean..


He then took my ipod and started to play "stand by me"..sharing part of the head set and hug me into his arm..looking at me and singing the song..
"wonderful night" was the next..I feel like crying at that time..but I didn't..
he kisses me on my forehead after the word "I Love You"..
it was the first time I heard from him..not like but love..not text but voice..

ps./ I felt the love from all of you

Read more