空虚

空虚应该就是我现在的心情吧
想尽办法出来
是因为不想一个人在家
但出不出其实也没什么两样
到了最后还是自己一个人
似乎没人有空
懒得理我

讨厌一个人的感觉
但我又能怎么做呢?
找不到可以充实自己的事情
我怎么了?
为什么那么的。。没感觉?
好假好累
那个笑容怎么都只是挂着罢了呢
就不能是因为想笑就笑吗
撞车后就什么劲都没了
第一天累可以说是应该的
但今天怎么也酱啊?
好想找人讲话
就算自己不讲,听别人说也会很舒服
但就是找不到人
哈哈
看回之前写的贴
跟maggie聊了后
觉得自己好幼稚
为什么在我身边
跟我平岁的都在改变就
只有我那么的不成熟呢
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believe it or not?its juz depands on u

ah soo told me not to take the hill road at night
coz maggie have exprience
the next day after they took that road at night
one tyre pang cet
one involved in an accident
another..
can't remember wat happened de
related to car also
i dun believe at first
but after today
........
it might be juz a coincidence
well
its all depans on how you take it

i take the road yesterday to fetch Cisi to her new house

today after class
i was planning to go back to have my laundry done
then go new world park

coming out from my college not until 5 minutes
**PANG**
my car lost his head

wa~~~~~
can u believe that is my car??
suzuki swift
haiz
well
by law
its my fault
the whole story
it starts like this
i was in a t-junction
and wanna turn down
but there is a honda..
[i dun really notice wat car is that]
coming straight
i turn in coz i still got enough time
but i really dunno what's wrong with that guy
is he panic or wat
if he really wanna avoid from banging me
he should break instate of turning into the same direction
and i thought he wanna turn in and slow down
but he juz keep getting closer to my way
to avoid him
i turn to the left
but still he beng me
and stupid me
instate of pressing break
i press accelerate
to bang the gate
and i didn't notice that
until the car keep moving forward when bang to the net
=.=
the net save me i guess
but that's wat my car became
two "tiang" were down
the air bag didn't come out
but lucky noting happened to me
i still know how to come out from the passanger site
and i really wanna thanks to all that who help me and stay with me when i need help
JUN SHUN..LIK..JIAN YU..YUSUF
SIMON..HUI LING..AH KIM..SIVA
my uncles..aunty..
people who cares and keep on calling me and msg me
YIN LONG..ADRIAN..HAN PING..VERA
my cousin..my cousin's husband
my dad's partner
Cisi was there for me the whole time
ah soo bring me to the bank
and both of them borrow me money
[but didn't use in the end]
really felt grateful for all of u
especially Cisi
**love**hugs**
sorry for all the troubles
and thanks for all of u
love you guys
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梦都是那样奇怪的吗?

梦到你不见了
手机怎么打都打不通
到处找

因为找不到人
所以又气又紧张的
而且为什么我就一个人而另一个不知道是谁就有朋友陪啊
也看得出他们很不喜欢我

过后不知怎么会在车上发呆
听到电话向却没接到
才发现你留了九个未接给我
因为一直听到声音可却不知道是自己的电话在响所以没察觉到
=.=
还真够笨的

梦就酱结束了
因为你突然抱着我
所以醒了

醒来后的感觉
............
只想紧紧地抱着你
睡觉
哈哈

梦就告一段落了吧

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

昨晚在冷气房里睡觉既然留了满身汗
=.=
我神经不正常啦?
过后又起风膜
哇~~~
真是气死我了
赶紧钻进被窝

最近的我还真可怜
每两三天痒一次
害我整天被我班的说我发骚
=.=
没有一天不讲我好像会死掉一样

我妈跟我爸还说我肥去了
脸越来越圆
要我别再吃宵夜了
我也想
可昨晚还没睡肚子又开始饿了
忍~~忍~~忍~~
要省钱和减肥就不吃那样多了
可怜啊~~~
美食

看回上一封帖
觉得
其实可以不需要二选一
只要自己懂得处理
选择权不一定是要对方给你
其实自己也可以改变啊

对!!
不管怎样
加油


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开心还是原则

人家说做人最重要是开心。。但开心的同时也少不了原则。。
我呢?
却只能在哪里二选一
要选哪个好呢?><
这个这个
不行~~~
还是那个好了
=.=
不想
哎~
很多朋友跟我说只要自己开心就好
但是没了原则又觉得很~~奇怪
上个礼拜
选择了开心
是开心了,但却又觉得很平静
或许选择原则的我会很伤心
但我谁都不是
就觉得自己很悲惨
死缠烂打
恶心啊~~~
你关心的不只有我
我没哭
也告诉自己不准再哭
不要再那么软弱
以前的我很坚强
现在也一样
昨天拒绝陪你了
不是很想
但还是做了
[可是下午还是有陪你,还搞到上课迟到..=.=]
结论
————————
————————
还是找不到答案
算了吧
只要不让自己受伤
开心就好
^^
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Weird

felt weird this two days..
going back early and what i do after that??
studying??online??hmm..i guess i'm dreaming..felt moody..doing noting..
hmm..i move here more then half year de..think this will be my first time being at home so early..

am i bad?playful?or wat i'm doing now is juz wat a student should do?
my mood change because of this??
i felt happy whenever i mix around with ppl in studio..
i like to go studio whenever i'm moody..but should i stop this??
like adrian said..if i dun mix with them then who i gonna mix with??
even this two days..when i mix with my classmate..the smile looks fake..
but its not the same when i'm in studio..
...dunno wat's going on with me de...haiz..

GREAT NEWS..
DISASTER manage to gather 6 person as a team..muahahaha..
Ashley is coming back to join us..
ok..now wat we need is to train hard til 30th of may..
JIA YOU!!
[hope that we'll found our 3rd song soon too..^6..]
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everything doesn't seem right..

my parents saw the "love letter" from my college yesterday and called me..
i didn't do much explaination..i had done something wrong..and i deserve to be punish..
the more i explain it juz to find excuse for myself not to get into trouble i guess..
i send a msg for me and told her i'm sorry..

i had been choose to be the assistant of "DISASTER"..
i respect the decision they make but i dun really think that i should be the choosen want to hold this post..i'm the worst in the team..and i really doesn't think that i'm the right guy..
but anyway i'll try my best and help u guys when u need me..
that is at least what i can do..
went out for dinner with maggie, may and vera..
its kinda funny and happy but i can't really laught at all..
at least not LDM..coz i felt sorry for my parents..
and after hearing the pass of soo..my thought gets wider..
i kept silence coz i dun think my advice is good enough for Yi Feng..

lazy to wake up this morning coz sleep very late but still i have no choice..
didn't complete my essay for the whole day..really damn bad mood..
but we had luch with ashley..didn't saw her quite long time..kinda happy..=)
and GOOD NEWS..she might be coming back to JOIN US!!!><
hope she'll come back..i'll arrange the time for her properly too..so that she can dun waste her time for study..
and saw something nice in pet shop..yet its so~~~EXPENSIVE..
didn't get to decide wat to buy for his bday present yet..
but still long..will see how..

haiz my hand and feet still itch ah~~~~TT
so many days de..didn't get better at all..
BO FORM again..hate that i'm alone..
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尽都跑哪儿去了?

一觉醒来还是那么的提不起尽。。又醒又睡了很多次。。
因为只有睡觉就什么都不用想。。也没有感觉跟心情。。
在冲凉房里呆了很久。。也不知道自己在干嘛。。
去上课也像条死鱼一样。。
生病了。。好辛苦。。但应该只是感冒应起的罢了吧?
上完课觉得有点烧。。还是去看医生了。。
睡了一觉。。好像好多了。。可好像是真的病了。。

曾经想过不管那么多。。子要自己开心就好。。
想主动点。。到了最后还是提不起尽。。
不知道我要的是什么?我不想让他觉得跟我在一起很难过。。
希望都是开心的。。
真的什么都不想要。。不想管。。
就算最后受伤的事自己。。
好像见他。。可为什么我一直只会等他开口??
自己就不会主动点??
几时才会改掉只会为人遭想的毛病啊?
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life doesn't seem to be so simple..

wake up early today to take pic for our photoshop project..
kinda admine urself after seeing the pic we took..
but still i dun satisfied..coz i think it can be better..
we went for breakfast after that and back to hostel..
i stay there coz my class starts on 12..
we went lunch after class but i didn't eat anything except red bean soup..
dun feel like eating and i'm getting FAT!!haha..
we continue with our next scene of project..and go back after that since our class is cancled and some of them had test tomorrow..
the hot day make me sick..after my laptop is on..straight----toilet..
had my bathe and watch my clothes..
see the time is almost four..can't get a short nap also..coz soo wanna meet me up at 4..
ah ya..then go online la..=p

lynn was there when i reach studio and followed us to pet shop too..
dunno why..i juz kept silence in the car..
tried to make myself busy by msging and calling my classmate to talk about the project..
soo ask me why am i so quite..i answered him i'm thinking of something..
but dunno why when i answered him like that, i felt regret and strange..
i act odd in the whole journey until we went back to studio..
keep asking myself wat's wrong with me??am i jealous??
dun care..practice my dance..feel like going back..noting to do..
he then ask me will i go new world park??
see the time..left 30 minutes after they depart..so i juz said ya..
i drove all of them there..but didn't go for the bboy gathering..
me and soo went pet shop which is nearby..
we saw an "aiguana" [dunno the spelling] which looks different and nice..
special and unique that make it looks like the king..haha..
we bought all the hermit crab in that pet shop..
wOo~total is RM50.40 for all 7 of them..
he ask me not to tell them that he bought hermit crab..
i said ok..^6..
we then went back to new world park and yi feng ask me wat is that??
i said i bought hermit crab..he then =.=..haha..

it was 10 and started to rain..
vera was waiting for us to fetch her and i tried to speed up so that she won't wait for so long..
but half way back to studio..soo said wanna fetch big lynn from jetty and keep on telling me sorry..coz he forgot about that..
my mood start to..change..
after fetching her..she wanna go toilet..have to find a place for her to pee..
the way back to studio seem to be longer on that time..
i tried to speed and over take cars..but i failed..
and everyone drove so slow..make me hotter..
soo keep on asking wat's wrong with me..i juz make a fake smile and said noting..
after dropping them..i was going to fetch vera..but he stop me..
coz i forgot his stuff is still with me..he didn't close my door after taking all his stuff..
my anger increse..he said he wanna follow me..
i ask him why can't i juz go and fetch her alone now very loud when he was talking to others but he seem like didn't heard that..
in the car he kept asking..ask wat happened to me..
the same thing answer i give him juz now was repeat again..
he said my smile looks very fake..
i answered him that vera is waiting alone for so long and all the stupid cars so slow..
but i dun think so that's the only answer..i juz stop after that..
he ask me my temper should be very bad..
i didn't answer him..and speed to 120 after the trafic light..
he ask me to slow down and said not juz two life in my hand but more then that..
i slow down..but my temper doesn't until we went dinner after that..
i drop vera and big lynn..leave me and him go parking..

他要我过宿舍睡。。一开始我说看先。。
但最后还是心动答应了。。心情又恢复了。。
可最后我还是回家了。。曾经冲动的想就自己直接过去。。
但我很笨。。当他回我讯息是我心已经硬了,在会着半路的当中。。
回到家。。哭了。。很气。。很气。。
可我谁都不想找。。也不想回。。就只想让他知道。。
好累。。好累。。连上网都没上就睡了。。
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