Dream will always the Dream


Can't really control my emotional recently..Sometimes its like a small little girl been given sweets..sweet and happy even active having her own new toys; getting mad easily, down, sad and cry was on the other hand happening..I'm like a lively volcano, can't predict at all..

It had been weeks that I didn't call him since the last time i wake him up..I miss him..I really do..but I'm scared at the same time..
scared I had been disturbing him, scared he'll felt annoyed on me..yet he'll forget me..Life and human being can be very simple but I just make it so complicated..haha

I had a dream the other day..dreaming of him and was so happy..smiling all the way until I woke up from the dream..Cisi was watching me when I awake and she know it well that who I dream of..It was the first time I felt..secure and happy?I dun even know how to describe it yet it was just a dream..once you are awake you just have to face the reality..
I did have great time when I was with him and I do regret on letting go yet that's the fact and I shouldn't be staying anymore..

Seeing everyone so strong..I should keep up with my optimize thinking with my good mood everyday..=)..add oil la..will be posting "back to melbourne" for my next post


ps./ was thinking to open back to public for my blog, should I?

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4 months holidays


Starts it with guinness

Ola~it has been ages that I didn't came up here..looking back on all the pix....
My mind "OMG where should I start?so many things to say and share..what should I post?taiwan?pantai keracut?the parties???"haha

Like what you see, I had been spending my whole holidays with all my babes and friends for almost 4 months, partying, hanging, playing, gossiping, eating, facialing, traveling, drinking, drinking & its still drinking..haha..hmm..add some EMOING as well..=p
A lot of things happened in this 4 months yet its unbelievable, unforgettable, unchangeable, memorably n happy

Hmm..lets talk about myself first..first with the "organic" red hair then with a hair cut + another black red tint with red highlight after a month follow by a purple tint with..pink?orange?highlight?haha..i dye my hair 3 times in 2 months..oh god..ITS TIME TO STOP..but i kinda like my current hair style..even after the color fade, it was never showing purple by the way,I mean at least i didn't see it and the pix doesn't show it..haha..well, now it has turn to be a bit reddish copper and my hair getting longer..problem comes..ITS HARD to maintain short hair..=(..one hair cut cost me 75 aud..i'm gonna broke if I still going for it.. then should I just keep it?hmm..whatever..will think about it when its time..=)..then with the "sexy" look ppl were saying..haha..there's actually one thing "there's no sign saying I can't take pix in the fitting room"..XD..I didn't turn up to be very hardworking..I'm still the lazy old me stay at home with my laptop most of the time when I'm here in Melbourne. btw I had decide to stop shopping..i mean stop wasting money on unnecessary stuff coz i still LAZY to dress up myself..so it will be a waste n i'm really gonna broke if i keep on like this..even though i still said "YES!no need to change money for me I still have"-.-..faster get a part time job la..haiz..stop crapping..jump back to the time I'm in pg, kl and taiwan..

When kl twice I guess not include transit to Taiwan was with Jia Yong and the others..There is the first time we went there for the concert and battleground. Well. that was my first time taking bus alone to kl and yet I was with the weird feeling..excited?sad?haha..i dunno?but end up he did came and that little piggy just sleep the whole night ignoring me..well i though I forgot what happened that night yet it just recall back when I'm typing this..anyway, that was the first concert I had been..it was so tiring and seriously my back wasn't having a good time with me but I still stand for the whole concert till it finish..*secret- I was actually falling asleep half way..=p..the other time was the astro battle ground 1st audition..that was the first time I felt so nervous until my heart almost stop beating..even though they enter top5 but not finalist, i felt happy for time..they know their problems and they have to choice to solve it..that's it!oh ya~that night was my first time driving from kl to pg also..haha..so many first time..

Then what I remember when I was spending my holidays in pg, BED became my 2nd home..hahaha..go class sometimes also will absent once or twice but this is like EVERYDAY present!!Am I MAD???lol..even the uncle also recognized me saying I was there everyday..@@..anyway..thanks Kido, Ah Neh and my babe Ash always take care us there..haha..but when you guys wanna let me drunk jek?I heard that for ages ad but not once..the very last time they even end up laying like a dead fishes in studio..btw not to forget yeezie that walk in..
then with the 007 ping, the frog dom dom dom, girls' talk, crying in BED..haha..and with this geng of ppl we went pantai keracut, went party for maggie's farewell, went 3 competitions, ah dyi and yunn's wedding, pan cake, movie, bella italia, shusi,kim steamboat,tomyam moi, studio,red garden, and not to forget goodall..haha..well..mention about food the time I miss the most is having lunch with babe Ash everyday which becomes both our habits..have a 2nd thought on traveling to pg everyday..how did i do that?now i can feel that my house is real far..haha
At that time I learnt a lot..I learnt to be optimize; learnt to enjoy myself; learnt to be mature; learnt to know things can be very simple yet I learnt all that after I lost the important person in my life. I dunno how things going to turn up. Some said I'm stupid. He said its not worth it and what I said is, I just wanna be happy so just let me do what I wanna do. I didn't know what u want but I dun think you want me to act childish and being sad everyday..I dun declare that I'm just giving myself a hope so that I stop crying, stop emo, stand up still and enjoy my life..but there is still this 0.1 of emotional makes me crazy when i'm down..0.8 makes me sad after seeing his fb..0.2(+10 when knowing its just me) telling myself everything is over..but ya..there is still this 98.9 telling me not to give up. Well who knows?maybe I'll get a better man?or I might just stick back with that it is..=)

As for Taiwan, me and Xiao An spend most of our money on food then day tours and shopping. We went a lot of garden seeing all the views and I had a bag of 10 shoes back with 6 of mine..=p..overall still a nice trip coz i actually spend all my time sleeping..haha
that's it for my 4 months holidays post..btw hopefully I can get a photo editing software for mac


ps./ I was always smiling when I think about you
problems exist ur choice to be solve

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Our love ~Will Be Here Forever~

It has been more than one month
Had been having fun and laugher with my babes for that one month but deeply in my heart,I know it well that I was just running away from the fact
Making myself tough by bring up hope between us but when I realist there is more hope despair gets closer and closer, day by day because I'm leaving soon
I were so afraid that everything gonna be over
But I'm not for now

I starts to know more about us day by day
We did get closer after the break but you still keep everything to yourself
Like what Miguel said "guys usually keep the problem away from their partner which will cause bigger problem in the future cause it wasn't solve"
Yet I'm still glade that I get to know all that from others, at least its clear that the problems between us ain't because we don't love each other anymore

I know what you are worrying and why you keep saying all those things like "its not worth it", you just want me to let go,to find a better man but you didn't know you are the BEST MAN in my heart
You won't know how hard is it when I just broke up with you and my relatives keep saying your bad things
You won't know how painful am I when people are humiliating you publicly
You won't know how down am I when you thought I'm getting along with other guy

You ain't brave enough to love
You lost your own direction
You dun have the confident and trust that we can walk through the problems together
And what I can do now is just wait, let time to prove everything,I won't force anything anymore
And I'll prove to you that you are wrong

Btw, I wasn't drunk in bed the other day..didn't even beng but just wanna know how much he cares and due to my tired face and I know what I'll do when I'm beng everyone thought I was drunk and stim and stop me from drinking..bo form..


ps./ "Boyfriend" & "Girlfriend" is just a word.If both love each other,at the same time they are a pair of lover..Its meant from heart
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As time pass

Thing can be very simple and you make it so difficult, I really catch no ball..I don't really know you well but in fact its just a common problem that everyone of us are facing and what I had learnt from my past..you said you agree with what I said and we share the same thinking but you did forget what I said the next day so what's the purpose of agreeing and wasting time listening to what I said?You let me feel like you are just like HER..-.-

Recently more and more sad things happened..couple broke up..friend leaving and even pass away..hmm..Life..full of unexpected stuff that's what I can say..
The one who can let go,I'm glade and hope happiness come next..The one that can't let go, I felt sorry and pity for you guys but hopefully everything will be all right..Everyone has their own choice and so do you..Its hard sometimes but you'll be greatfull after you go through it..So good luck guys..

As for me..I'm enjoying my life now with all my babes..Gonna miss every single time that I had with all of you..and our new members as well..=)..Recently are a bit emo coz maggie is leaving soon and I really do start to miss her lotssss...but I know I should be strong as this is not the first time we separate..Hopefully we will still catch up and gather like we use to be..laughing and talking like nobody business..=)
I thought you change your state but you haven't..I start to miss you when I turn emo but maybe I should stop it..3 years separate will prove everything weather we are meant to be together or not..anyway..thanks for all of u that support or against this relationship..^^


ps./ Everyone has their purpose of living and so do you
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Love my babe

Time flies
Its getting closer and closer
The time we gonna separate again
The time that we gonna miss each other more

We know we can't stop things to happened, so we treasure every sec we are together
We know we gonna miss each other more after we separate, so we keep meeting each other
We know everything will change day by day, so we only see today

I'm having fun and laugher with all of you
Because of you guys I'm strong ;
Because of you guys I'm not lonely.
I wanna thank you guys for being my friends and lovely babe
What I wanna said is I love you guys

Recently a lot of things happened due to the troublemaker
Everyone were so angry and pissed off and so do I
But after saying it out..I'm not that angry anymore
Maybe because she's just a kid but hopefully she won't bring any trouble to any of us anymore

What's make me happy is I get to know more friends
Wen Jian and Kido
I'll treasure the rest of my time in Penang will all my babe and you 2
Thanks for the caring and laughter that you guys bring us
Appreciate it yo~=D


ps./ love all the clubbing pix,too bad I didn't get to take pix with you that day
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you and I was once a good memory

People was wondering why I left my blog so long ever since I came back from Melbourne and even so many things happened recently
What I can said is because of the lazyness and the way to express it out

People was wondering and get shock for the sudden change of the states in fb as well
I cover it nice and easy with my daily life

I woke up after the break
knowing how emo and annoying am I that you said noting but standing by myside guiding me to be more optimise
but I dun learn
I'm not welling to accept the fact that I should be satisfied with wat I'm hving now

I was impetuous when I said those things
and you were not confident to be who you are

Lifes go on
ps./ Time shows everything
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Lina's 19th birthday party

We had an advance birthday party for lina on 5th in cafe Italia
and since we had an appointment with Aureo on 4pm for the photoshooting we work up very early at 9am after we slept at 4++am (due to so
me childish argument between them)
yet we are so "lucky" coz it rains after we came out city..haha..so we got no choice but to delay
the shooting
till 15th
oh god..I dunno what to wear for the shooting d la..its freaking cold t
his day and I dun have any nice dress..>_<..oh wel..I'm not the character so just leave it..=p

We went to chocolate lounge since we got noting to do at the same time waiting for Mike who
disappear since he went to the saloon..
and tada~here he is..with his eyes..XD

We run back to my hostel coz its freezing and we got noting to do at all

We went to state library to meet up Fiona and Tony and we took taxi to the restaurant

We went to take some pix on the way and near parliment after dinner
Looking forward for the other pic and the photoshooting on 15th with Lina n Mike..=)


ps./ He just simply attracts me
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这是什么感觉啊?
突然觉得好空虚哦
从lina家回来后觉得跟ying ying有些代沟
本来以为摆脱那个傻婆后应该可以正常些,可是反而跟ying ying有隔膜,感觉更down..-.-

昨天看到照片的我们疯了。。哈哈
也因为lina很喜欢照片我也觉得很开心
多谢Auero。。辛苦了一整个晚上把大部分的照片都edit了
话说回来,他是第一个让我觉得我现在身在外国的人
如果可以的话还满想跟他做很好的朋友,也想找他在拍照。=)

过两天家人要来了
不懂为什么最近觉得他们很反感,也不想在他们过来时参酱多
唉~再看吧

刚刚看到照片,好怀念以前哦,也很羡慕
你们真的很棒,有点追不上脚步的样子。。哈哈
可是我还是想努力,成为一份子。

还有这个拜四是傻婆的真正生日,当然不会丢下她所以叻尽请期待吧。
如果不懒惰的话或许会上来写一下的,哈哈


ps./果然只要一天我就会不安心
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