cut it out


You can't do this anymore..face it..stop fooling yourself anymore..you know it well why u are being emotional recently..u know it well why your tears drop automatically even when you r day dreaming..you should had stop from the time he told u its not worth it..you shouldn't be hoping anything anymore after being refuse..face it!!!you are noting but shit!!the gift was just to make him feel better after receiving your present..wake up!!wake up and MOVE ON!!!
pls..pls..pls let go n start ur own life..everyday making ourself so tired..staying up till so late..telling yourself being optimized will help a lot but noting change..
you wanna talk to him so much but u dun even know how u should talk to him..always being so nervous..always consider him first..always try to find excuse for him..HE AIN'T YOUR MAN!!
"HE's NOT THE MAN!"..just keep it in mind..wishing that time pass faster so that the missing cells get replace n die


I don't love you
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Life in melbourne

There goes my "virgin" for transport bar

Thanks to Cisi my "virgin" was gone after one year..haha..she makes my life in Melbourne more lively with the bars and clubs..but seriously we dun quite like it..as in the music was not much better than Hitz.fm..hahaha

Well, recently I was busy attending the classes for dancing in passion and dsoul..and I seriously feel like moving back to city after all the night clubs and dancing classes..I really felt tired to travel an hour just to attend an hour class and travel an hour back home again..and we have to always rush here and there so that we won't miss the tram but we are like spending most of our time on the tram..and not to said that the house we are sharing is bad but still i figure it out that i actually like apartment more..-.-..well, really hope to move out as soon as possible if not i really feel like dying everyday..so tiring..
Recently spend too much time on dancing and travel and almost forget about my studies..haiz..should concern more on my studies even though its not that difficult but if i keep on doing this i gonna fail everything..and my time to go on bed as well..everyday sleep after 5am seriously I feel like dying faster..haha

First day back to Mel with the 8 degree in Spring

Ok, let talk about Angel and Aiko..They are my dancing instructors which is from Taiwan and Japan..Aiko's girl's hip hop class is more like what I want but seriously I'm not good in memorizing..I always forgot steps and can't follow up during all the classes and was so suck..so I had decide to practice it after the class..but some of my basic did improve after stopping for quite a time..Even tough I'm not good in her new jazz i still think its a good starts for me to learnt more and improve myself..coz like we know..i'm better in hip hop but not rolling my butt and waving my body..haha..but I'm learning how to shake my butt now from Cisi..still my biggest problem is i don;t dare..As for Angel, her class was always full of laughter and energy..I like her class but hers is more on girl style will be something like new jazz..so its still the same..not dare and more practice..but both of them have different style..and Cisi said I should had choose one person to follow..hmm..currently I like Aiko's class more coz its more on hip hop but i still like Angel's lively teaching and more powerful choreo..so hard to decide..

After Aiko's class in Passion

Well life in Melbourne is still building up from friends, fun, study, food and sleep..since its summer break, now its just me and Cisi who always hang around..we also decide to find a part time job coz we are seriously spending a lot on shopping, eating, classes and party..and we had decide to go back malaysia next year..so we do need money!!btw..Cisi's not feeling well with her stomach recently and the doc basically ask her to stop eating everything except veg and rice..@@..hope she'll get well soon..

First birthday in Mel

Ma la you huo

Going vic market tomorrow..nice breakfast is waiting for me..wohoo~but I seriously need more exercise..gaining weight and my dad keep on complaining already..but i just can't control myself on eating..>_<..haha
And I do hate mac coz a lot of software can't use..now I just wanna merge the pix together also dunno what to do..sien..lazy to upload everything leh..-.-..maybe will go grab one ori software..no money no money..

I might be posting weird and blur stuff recently coz I'm seriously lack of sleep..>_<..hope I didn't make any joke here..haha


ps./ Didn't get you to answer it
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sometimes its better to not be so clear


Life brings a little of fate sometimes don't you think? Seriously I dunno how to reaction when I heard that..but some how I think there is still hope in our friendship..

I was always thinking that its ok that you dun contract us and its fine to find us when you got your difficulty or broke up with your gf, there's where a friend is needed.. yet after the day you broke our promise, our friendship doesn't mean anything anymore..i was tired..tired on having hope and hearing your excuses..tired of the uncomfortable moment when ur gf is here..and glade that i didn't went back to my mistake again last year..coz i don't need you to pity me..i don't need you to feel bad and treat me better for the things you did 4 years ago..you wasn't there went I need you 4 years ago and you are happiest when I was sad..you are so selfish and most of all..you dun even know what you want..

But..I remember you are the one who help me to pass through the hardest time when I was first in Melbourne..you are the one who come comfort me when I was alone in the dark back lorong..I dunno how should I react when I heard the present was from you actually..coz that was the time i felt comfort when i know even i'm having my first birthday in oversea, I wasn't lonely after all..Thanks for everything even though my emotional get a bit confuse but what is over is over..you are still my friend..=)

Saw what he post on fb makes me worried..is he stress? or sometimes just happened to him?I wanna call him so badly when I saw the wall post but guess he'll be still sleeping at time..=(..felt like crying all the sudden..i miss him so much and i just have no result to call him..i was always silence and trying to find some topic so that he won't hang the call..but it always doesn't last long..every time I tried to make myself happy when hanging..telling myself I should be satisfied coz he spend time talking with me..TT..but I just MISS HIM BADLY


ps./ I'll be brave
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Dream will always the Dream


Can't really control my emotional recently..Sometimes its like a small little girl been given sweets..sweet and happy even active having her own new toys; getting mad easily, down, sad and cry was on the other hand happening..I'm like a lively volcano, can't predict at all..

It had been weeks that I didn't call him since the last time i wake him up..I miss him..I really do..but I'm scared at the same time..
scared I had been disturbing him, scared he'll felt annoyed on me..yet he'll forget me..Life and human being can be very simple but I just make it so complicated..haha

I had a dream the other day..dreaming of him and was so happy..smiling all the way until I woke up from the dream..Cisi was watching me when I awake and she know it well that who I dream of..It was the first time I felt..secure and happy?I dun even know how to describe it yet it was just a dream..once you are awake you just have to face the reality..
I did have great time when I was with him and I do regret on letting go yet that's the fact and I shouldn't be staying anymore..

Seeing everyone so strong..I should keep up with my optimize thinking with my good mood everyday..=)..add oil la..will be posting "back to melbourne" for my next post


ps./ was thinking to open back to public for my blog, should I?

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4 months holidays


Starts it with guinness

Ola~it has been ages that I didn't came up here..looking back on all the pix....
My mind "OMG where should I start?so many things to say and share..what should I post?taiwan?pantai keracut?the parties???"haha

Like what you see, I had been spending my whole holidays with all my babes and friends for almost 4 months, partying, hanging, playing, gossiping, eating, facialing, traveling, drinking, drinking & its still drinking..haha..hmm..add some EMOING as well..=p
A lot of things happened in this 4 months yet its unbelievable, unforgettable, unchangeable, memorably n happy

Hmm..lets talk about myself first..first with the "organic" red hair then with a hair cut + another black red tint with red highlight after a month follow by a purple tint with..pink?orange?highlight?haha..i dye my hair 3 times in 2 months..oh god..ITS TIME TO STOP..but i kinda like my current hair style..even after the color fade, it was never showing purple by the way,I mean at least i didn't see it and the pix doesn't show it..haha..well, now it has turn to be a bit reddish copper and my hair getting longer..problem comes..ITS HARD to maintain short hair..=(..one hair cut cost me 75 aud..i'm gonna broke if I still going for it.. then should I just keep it?hmm..whatever..will think about it when its time..=)..then with the "sexy" look ppl were saying..haha..there's actually one thing "there's no sign saying I can't take pix in the fitting room"..XD..I didn't turn up to be very hardworking..I'm still the lazy old me stay at home with my laptop most of the time when I'm here in Melbourne. btw I had decide to stop shopping..i mean stop wasting money on unnecessary stuff coz i still LAZY to dress up myself..so it will be a waste n i'm really gonna broke if i keep on like this..even though i still said "YES!no need to change money for me I still have"-.-..faster get a part time job la..haiz..stop crapping..jump back to the time I'm in pg, kl and taiwan..

When kl twice I guess not include transit to Taiwan was with Jia Yong and the others..There is the first time we went there for the concert and battleground. Well. that was my first time taking bus alone to kl and yet I was with the weird feeling..excited?sad?haha..i dunno?but end up he did came and that little piggy just sleep the whole night ignoring me..well i though I forgot what happened that night yet it just recall back when I'm typing this..anyway, that was the first concert I had been..it was so tiring and seriously my back wasn't having a good time with me but I still stand for the whole concert till it finish..*secret- I was actually falling asleep half way..=p..the other time was the astro battle ground 1st audition..that was the first time I felt so nervous until my heart almost stop beating..even though they enter top5 but not finalist, i felt happy for time..they know their problems and they have to choice to solve it..that's it!oh ya~that night was my first time driving from kl to pg also..haha..so many first time..

Then what I remember when I was spending my holidays in pg, BED became my 2nd home..hahaha..go class sometimes also will absent once or twice but this is like EVERYDAY present!!Am I MAD???lol..even the uncle also recognized me saying I was there everyday..@@..anyway..thanks Kido, Ah Neh and my babe Ash always take care us there..haha..but when you guys wanna let me drunk jek?I heard that for ages ad but not once..the very last time they even end up laying like a dead fishes in studio..btw not to forget yeezie that walk in..
then with the 007 ping, the frog dom dom dom, girls' talk, crying in BED..haha..and with this geng of ppl we went pantai keracut, went party for maggie's farewell, went 3 competitions, ah dyi and yunn's wedding, pan cake, movie, bella italia, shusi,kim steamboat,tomyam moi, studio,red garden, and not to forget goodall..haha..well..mention about food the time I miss the most is having lunch with babe Ash everyday which becomes both our habits..have a 2nd thought on traveling to pg everyday..how did i do that?now i can feel that my house is real far..haha
At that time I learnt a lot..I learnt to be optimize; learnt to enjoy myself; learnt to be mature; learnt to know things can be very simple yet I learnt all that after I lost the important person in my life. I dunno how things going to turn up. Some said I'm stupid. He said its not worth it and what I said is, I just wanna be happy so just let me do what I wanna do. I didn't know what u want but I dun think you want me to act childish and being sad everyday..I dun declare that I'm just giving myself a hope so that I stop crying, stop emo, stand up still and enjoy my life..but there is still this 0.1 of emotional makes me crazy when i'm down..0.8 makes me sad after seeing his fb..0.2(+10 when knowing its just me) telling myself everything is over..but ya..there is still this 98.9 telling me not to give up. Well who knows?maybe I'll get a better man?or I might just stick back with that it is..=)

As for Taiwan, me and Xiao An spend most of our money on food then day tours and shopping. We went a lot of garden seeing all the views and I had a bag of 10 shoes back with 6 of mine..=p..overall still a nice trip coz i actually spend all my time sleeping..haha
that's it for my 4 months holidays post..btw hopefully I can get a photo editing software for mac


ps./ I was always smiling when I think about you
problems exist ur choice to be solve

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Our love ~Will Be Here Forever~

It has been more than one month
Had been having fun and laugher with my babes for that one month but deeply in my heart,I know it well that I was just running away from the fact
Making myself tough by bring up hope between us but when I realist there is more hope despair gets closer and closer, day by day because I'm leaving soon
I were so afraid that everything gonna be over
But I'm not for now

I starts to know more about us day by day
We did get closer after the break but you still keep everything to yourself
Like what Miguel said "guys usually keep the problem away from their partner which will cause bigger problem in the future cause it wasn't solve"
Yet I'm still glade that I get to know all that from others, at least its clear that the problems between us ain't because we don't love each other anymore

I know what you are worrying and why you keep saying all those things like "its not worth it", you just want me to let go,to find a better man but you didn't know you are the BEST MAN in my heart
You won't know how hard is it when I just broke up with you and my relatives keep saying your bad things
You won't know how painful am I when people are humiliating you publicly
You won't know how down am I when you thought I'm getting along with other guy

You ain't brave enough to love
You lost your own direction
You dun have the confident and trust that we can walk through the problems together
And what I can do now is just wait, let time to prove everything,I won't force anything anymore
And I'll prove to you that you are wrong

Btw, I wasn't drunk in bed the other day..didn't even beng but just wanna know how much he cares and due to my tired face and I know what I'll do when I'm beng everyone thought I was drunk and stim and stop me from drinking..bo form..


ps./ "Boyfriend" & "Girlfriend" is just a word.If both love each other,at the same time they are a pair of lover..Its meant from heart
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As time pass

Thing can be very simple and you make it so difficult, I really catch no ball..I don't really know you well but in fact its just a common problem that everyone of us are facing and what I had learnt from my past..you said you agree with what I said and we share the same thinking but you did forget what I said the next day so what's the purpose of agreeing and wasting time listening to what I said?You let me feel like you are just like HER..-.-

Recently more and more sad things happened..couple broke up..friend leaving and even pass away..hmm..Life..full of unexpected stuff that's what I can say..
The one who can let go,I'm glade and hope happiness come next..The one that can't let go, I felt sorry and pity for you guys but hopefully everything will be all right..Everyone has their own choice and so do you..Its hard sometimes but you'll be greatfull after you go through it..So good luck guys..

As for me..I'm enjoying my life now with all my babes..Gonna miss every single time that I had with all of you..and our new members as well..=)..Recently are a bit emo coz maggie is leaving soon and I really do start to miss her lotssss...but I know I should be strong as this is not the first time we separate..Hopefully we will still catch up and gather like we use to be..laughing and talking like nobody business..=)
I thought you change your state but you haven't..I start to miss you when I turn emo but maybe I should stop it..3 years separate will prove everything weather we are meant to be together or not..anyway..thanks for all of u that support or against this relationship..^^


ps./ Everyone has their purpose of living and so do you
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Love my babe

Time flies
Its getting closer and closer
The time we gonna separate again
The time that we gonna miss each other more

We know we can't stop things to happened, so we treasure every sec we are together
We know we gonna miss each other more after we separate, so we keep meeting each other
We know everything will change day by day, so we only see today

I'm having fun and laugher with all of you
Because of you guys I'm strong ;
Because of you guys I'm not lonely.
I wanna thank you guys for being my friends and lovely babe
What I wanna said is I love you guys

Recently a lot of things happened due to the troublemaker
Everyone were so angry and pissed off and so do I
But after saying it out..I'm not that angry anymore
Maybe because she's just a kid but hopefully she won't bring any trouble to any of us anymore

What's make me happy is I get to know more friends
Wen Jian and Kido
I'll treasure the rest of my time in Penang will all my babe and you 2
Thanks for the caring and laughter that you guys bring us
Appreciate it yo~=D


ps./ love all the clubbing pix,too bad I didn't get to take pix with you that day
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