DRESS

had been shopping for this 2 days and spend a lot..but..but..but..I still didn't get to find a dress for saturday..>_<..what am I going to do?I got noting to wear on saturday night..AH~~~~~
I didn't even know what kind of dress I need also..@@
hmm...sob sob..
who can help me?*.*

I'm happy with my life now..even I still care and envy but I feel the love from everyone..I just hope time can just stop for this moment..when I'm with you and you guys..


ps./ A Town Where You Can See The Ocean
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christmas eve

I dunno about you guys but I was so excited for this day to come..and seriously after I think back, there wasn't even once that I really celebrate and enjoy my Christmas Eve or even Christmas..even thought we had roughly plan for this time as well..


I was so excited and happy went I go Penang after my lunch with my family..and you also said I'm every happy on that day *coz I use to be emo everytime I guess...=p*..but things doesn't go on that smooth..I discover that I had left my christmas present at home..I was so angry with myself for my clumsiness and started to moody..and you stare at me when I tickle you after the jock..you even ask me to take my laptop away without letting me know what's going on..I was really sad and angry when you did that to me..I even went to hide and cry when I know that I forgot my present..but you stop training and find me when I'm not in ur sight..and I'm sorry..


I drove them to auto-city at 6 and went back home to take the present..Dyi and bb were the only one took my car..they were so damn noisy at first but in the end both of them sleep like a baby..hehe
I went back to auto-city after I took my stuff..and now only I know that auto world need parking fees..WTF..uncle,you wanna bluff also find some other ppl la..u thought I'm gina know noting de oh?but I didn't fight back with that uncle coz he's busy with another guy that park behind me..


thought the performance will end at 9 but we were still there on 10..and we rush back to Penang after that..coz we going to QEII as what we had planed..when we reach there it was around 11 and that time only we know that Chee Hooi got food poison and Maggie was going to drive him to see doctor..and QEII had change the place to club on that time..so we went for our dinner + supper since everyone didn't had our dinner yet..


upper road mamak was the place that we went count down..*bo form*..after our meal we went church street to have snow beer but there got beer no *snow* = no glass..so we change our location to sin kim san to find Kenny..he's having supper with his friends there..and in the end..we had decide to go BED..reach there 1++ around 2 and it was full so we went RED..open a black label and ya..there was the place we celebrate our Christmas..


Last destination R.E.D

Ah hong's gf really impress me..she pour the half bottle of black label in my bb, kenny and ah hong's glass before we have to left..and 3 of them have to
drive..@@..my bb can't drink also drink a lot on that day..so I have to drive in the end..
When back to hostel after I drop Vera and Kuhan..

I finish the rest that being left to complete as a present when he was showering..he kisses me and said thank you when I give it to him..
I was so happy that things finally getting good..but after I finish shower..he already fall asleep..
I cried the whole night and couldn't sleep at all coz he didn't keep his promise..
I pull his pillow and he woke up and hug me but I push him away and he just leave me alone..I get even sad and angry..and send him a msg..then he woke up and walk out when I was sitting at a side crying..but he didn't notice me at all..
he drunk too much and stomach not feeling well..and he reply my msg which he'll nvm do..= got gf cannot hug pillow de meh?
= I get jealous with a pillow..==


we had a talk after that..and I notice that he had changed..

he care about me..he was trying to be a good model..
he wasn't angry with me..he was just trying to be responsible..
he wasn't scolding me..he was just trying to be fair..
I'm sorry that's what I mean..


He then took my ipod and started to play "stand by me"..sharing part of the head set and hug me into his arm..looking at me and singing the song..

"wonderful night" was the next..I feel like crying at that time..but I didn't..
he kisses me on my forehead after the word "I Love You"..
it was the first time I heard from him..not like but love..not text but voice..


ps./ I felt the love from all of you
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Happy Sunday

The smile was always there whenever I looked at you..Its so warm and sweet..eventhough I can't sleep the whole night..
I think you didn't get to sleep well as well..coz whenever I looked at you, you'll look back..

you didn't wake me up the next day..but I felt bad for being lazy and sleep until so late..since ur mum and sis woke up that early..
I usually dun have breakfast but aunty bought a lot of things for me but sorry aunty..I can't finish everything..

went auto-city to take my car after breakfast and bought breakfast back for my sis and mate..and something really bad just happened..=My mate ran away=

after looking through the CCTV, I went back to his house to have lunch..
I was so clumsy that I didn't help his mum and sit there day dreaming the whole day *sorry*..

went for shopping with my sis in the evening and movie with ah dyi, his friend, yunn, and bb at night *wait till wanna sleep de*..
even we are tired..we had a great time..wink..


ps./ Happy with my life

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short day

I was angry the day before but..hmm..I went to penang again in the end..
realize that I got noting to do except for traveling to penang everyday..to see you..even a every short time..


I dun care anything anymore..I gonna just do what ever that makes me happy..
and if u are not going to tell me anything then I dun care..its up to you to let me know anything that you want..


meet up with maggie after lunch to look for christmas present..but both of us end up with empty hand..>_<..
I dunno what to get..maybe a photo frame?earing?....still didn't know what to get..


anyway looking foward for christmas eve..^^..
me and maggie plan to go someplace to drink..eat and have fun for our favourite x'mas..hehe..




ps./ dun forget our deal oh..^_<
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stop being so naive
wake up and grow up
stop being an idiot..fooling around
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Rely makes the fear

It wasn't about trust..It wasn't fear..Its just rely that makes me emotional..

I envy..
I didn't know what to do..
and I know it deeply in my heart that what is the feeling of theirs to be left behind being single..

Things went wrong when u never care..
I'm in the wild..you nvm tie me before..
so dun ask coz you let me..you are being careless again..

Time flies..one more month and I'll be leaving..
I just dun wanna waste any time anymore..
and hope tat the next plan will work..really looking forward for it..


ps./ I'm afraid to trust
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Sorry

I know sorry won't change thing that had been done and it doesn't gain back the trust that had been broke..
its just like a broken glass..even its fixed..rifts are still there..


you are the same in front of others..but not me..
I dunno how I can gain back the trust from you..but its not fair..
I'm not the only one who did wrong..but I'm the one who bearing all the fault..
and now you don't speak..you won't tell..


I hate tears but it just won't stop..
didn't realise that you can cause so much pain on me..
the so-call I dun care, whatever and anything bring up more than I had expected
the feeling and the love that I had and give are totally different from my past..
but when I tried to let it go..it hurts more than what I can bear..when it can be simple and easy


maybe I should just keep my mouth shut when I'm the happiest gal in the world
but what is done its done..I had no regret on telling you everything even it turns up to be this way..


maybe we just need some time and I won't give up that easy to gain back ur trust




ps./ its like using a knife stab throught my heart when you decide to leave me
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Irresponsible

I was excited and tried every single chance to meet you up..but its weird..when I saw you I just get angry but when you are not with me..I just wanna stay with you badly..==..I totally dunno what I'm trying to do and what I really want..
I felt bad when I left my siblings alone coz I have the responsible to take care them..I choose to be with you but in the end I still have to go back..

my parents are coming back on thursday..I wanna spend the rest of the time with you..but I still can't left my siblings behind..

I got a lot of things to tell but I dunno how..its like when I'm trying to talk to my mum..I have to think and memorize what I'm going to tell her before I talk to her..same thing happened to you as well..==..I just dunno get it..why I can't just speak out in front of ppl I love..

I'm not strong..I'm childish..I'm noting but a simple girl yet I just wanna let you know that I love you


ps./ 幸福离我们很近。。但。。我们都忘了靠近
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Think too much

OMG.. seriously I'm not pregnant..=.=..and I had been like that since the day I came back and its just getting serious only..its just some stomach problem..
vera and you, you guys think too much de k?so pls dun ask me anything about that anymore

This few days, whenever I look at the love bite through the mirror, I felt warm but sad as well..I tried to hide, cover it with my hair..but I had fail to not let everyone see it..I didn't know that I care so much for letting ppl see when things turn up this way..Its totally different feeling..or maybe I'm just scare and loose the trust that you had build it?

Had a drink with Maggie and Vera on Sunday..It was the worst day I have ever had for my whole life for taking beer..maybe my stomach problem doesn't allow me to drink that much..I didn't know that taking alcohol can cause so much pain..and trust me..its really bad until you won't wanna take any single sip of it anymore..
anyway, thanks to Maggie and Vera for spending time with me even though I'm still hesitating now..but I'm sure everything will be fine when time comes by
and sorry for driving me back as well
and thanks to you for taking care of me after that

the smell..the touch..the voice and laughter are all over me even though you are not with me..I can't resist myself for staying apart with you but I know I shouldn't be

Sometimes, I just hope you are not who you are..
dun keep on giving excuse and appreciate it before you loose it
but you'll still be you
persevere or give up?Its still a choice


ps./ You are noting but a passerby
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Trying

you are working hard
trying your best to fulfill my needs
and I'm trying to be optimize as well
but noting is perfect

when I saw you holding her hand
I felt pain from my heart
and it reminds me the past
when we were in Charles's house with your ex

no matter how hard I try to forget
it always bothers me
even though I told myself to trust you
and just enjoy what we are having for now


ps./ I just hope I can be stronger
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Mr.Green

until now the feeling is still there
when the first time I touch it
my heart beat differently
and I just can't accept that this is happening

I'm sorry
I'm really sorry

its body wasn't cold
its color doesn't change much like they said
but it become fatter compare to the last time I saw him
and the feeling was totally different
its like everything inside was not join together anymore

everytime I'm not to one who settled them
but now I know how it feels to throw them away


ps./ no one knows what's gonna happened next
appreciate what you are having
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Yeah

yahoo
now I can just write my blog without worrying
coz I had lock my blog

had a long talk with May last night
I hope she gets better
and both of us can be stronger

it was happy
it was touch
it was sad
but everything is over

it remains me of something
and like Maggie said "trust" is the thing to tighten us


ps./ there is a bright light coming out from the dark
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Nov 21st
I'm getting older every year when come to this day
A lot of expectation for every year and for this year as well

I'm happy with those who remember my birthday
and I got 2 suprise for this year
thanks to
*Maggie*bb*chee hooi*ashley*er jie*Cisi*Kuhan*
they celebrated my birthday earlier coz my bb and Cisi won't be here
its simple but nice and warm coz I get to be with all of them
but someone is missing and if she was there everything will be perfect
I know she got things to do but hopefully we can gather again with no one absent


with the uncle..xp

Maggie
in coffee island
ashley and cisi
1st cake
I love you..muackss^^
wondering how to cut the cake
amm

as for today
I was shock that I didn't expect anyone to celebrate with me anymore
but thanks to
*yee fung*wei lit*steampek*JxHia*Mig*one of the twins*
they bought a cake for me
and I have to say sorry to them coz I dun eat coffee and the smell of coffee is very thick so I didn't have it
but I'm very touch and happy and also sorry
[but seriously I didn't like to eat the candle..mig try to push me 3 times but I just get to broken the candle but my strength was not that bad after all]
and I'm glade that I get to see Vera on today also^^

the cake for today in studio
and of course my family
they are the one who celebrate with me each year no matter I celebrate with my friends or not
3rd cake

making wishes
thanks for all the wishes and all of you that remember my birthdays
I'm not alone coz I got u guys^^
XOXO[haha..JxHia teach de]
hope everyone have a nice day as well

didn't really took much pix
but more pix will be uploading soon



ps./ I was waiting and finally there is it
I love you and miss you badly
I'll be more optimise
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wondering around

everyone is working hard
doing their own role
and what am I doing?

nothing
wondering around
searching for the path

you are right
I shouldn't be like this
and I shouldn't be looking thing so seriously
as everytime I get hurt badly when I do so

I hope I can search for the answer for these 10 days
choose the correct way so that I won't regret for it

but I just wanna let you know
if you dun LOVE you won't CARE

I really feel empty and tired recently even I'm back
everything was not the same anymore
I felt the distance between each other
everyone is going their own way
and I'm still hoping that the day would just be like it use to be

maybe I'm the only one who is going round and round
searching for the same thing and remaining the same when people are improveing and changed to be better

I dunno what I'm trying to express and I dunno what I really want
I want to speak it out loudly
I want someone to talk to
but even I had
I can't feel any better

everything can't work out on my own
and I know sometimes I shouldn't be putting so much effort in something even though I want it and love it badly

like May said
if ones doesn't know how to appreciate then you should move on

you want me to trust you
you let me trust you
but you are also the one who let me afraid in believing you

I just want a simple love
like every girl does
but maybe I should be more optimise
and things will get better


ps./ I care coz I love
the so-call "problems" which mean noting for you are things that girls usually comsider coz they care
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end of the 5

yesterday was the last day for 5 of us to hang out
coz I come back very late and so damn tired
now only get to upload

ok
we went FOD in the afternoon for shopping
[ I really got terror for shopping de ]
after that we went Crown
haha
not for the casino la
but to play

like that place so much
since I'm here for months
I dun have the feeling of going to western country
coz its so like asian country with asian ppl
but that place change my feeling

the street
the restaurant
and the feeling were so damn nice

we went Eureka, the tallest apartment in the world I guess or just Mel
[ haha..don't care la ]
and went up to 88th floor by 36 second
cool har?
but ear kinda pain
Eureka

the night view

mike de face

see the sunset and went for skydeck is the reason why we where there
the skydeck is so fucking cool
there are sound effort when we move out
and when u see down from there
you really feel the fear
so damn cool~~~~

pix in skydeck

and after we came out
its already 10 and we were starving
so we went to had western food

me and fiona took a lot of pix after that
but pity us
coz no one welling to help us to take pic
but there're still a lot of ppl welling to help us even we didn't ask them^^

aiya~recently de blog will be very messy de
coz I'm very steam this few days when I'm blogging
so that's all la
dunno what to right de
and I have to pack
but lazy
haha


ps./ happy with life when you are with ppl who appreciate you
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st kilda

tired till wanna die de
>_<

met up with Lina, Mike, Fiona, Nan today
was excited for this day
but I dunno I was too excited or I can't sleep early
I didn't get to sleep well and I woke up early today

haha..like what I had expected
Lina can't wake up today and meet us late
and me, Nan and Fiona were chating and taking pix while waiting for her

nan from Thailand and fiona from Indonesia

me and nan

we went Nando's for lunch
then go shopping again
before we go st kilda, the nearest beach

in Nando's

like the design

in bourke street

the so call "bird street" xp

I love the shorts but its too short ==

me and our big boss XD

>_<
I have been shopping for days
and I spent a lot for these days
feel like killing myslef

back to topic

since we got no where to shop
we went beach earlier
around 3.30 pm
and at first its cloudy but turn sunny when we were going to the beach

here we are..wee~~~

lina from Malaysia and Indonesia and mick from HK

it was so damn nice
the beach * wind * sun
I'm like in the heaven..XD

the sand wasn't that fine but it doesn't hurt
the sea water wasn't that sticky and its cold
its so clear that we can see everything
the sun was so big but the cool wind just make it perfect
it was awesome
make me feel like sleeping and had sun bath
its so comfortable

let just let the pix explain everything
I'm tired
and still need to pack

here we are

the cute and lovely couple^^

clear and cool

jelly fish been wash to the seashore

I just love it^^

Mick is helping himself up to be the mermaid

our new sista

that's how u feel when u are in the beach

we when "xiao wei yang" for steamboat

dinner time

there will be more pix coming by these 2 days
coz I didn't get the pix yet and lazy to upload the rest
too much~~~~

oh ya~
I might be moving out
so might not have time to update the holidays I'm having in Mel


ps./ thanks for accepting as who I am
I'm cool, so what?
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Thanks for everything

I thought u need me a lot
and now only I realize
I need you more actually

tear and joy
everything we have been through

I dunno why
and I dunno what's going on

It was hard and I can't go through
but I'm accepting everything now

I woke up
and you will no longer be the one I rely on anymore

thanks for being my friend even you are scare of me
thanks for waking me up
and let me know what's more suitable for me


ps./ Life go on
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A nice outing

yahoo~~~
today went shopping with Lina
it was so damn fun
and I'm glade I went out with her today^^

let see
I bought 3 dress 4 singlet and 2 jacket
@@
I think I spent too much for today
and tomorrow still going to Smith Street

and it was out of my expectation that I bought all that
haha
changing look
but a bit weird
>_<
hopefully I won't waste $200

some pix from the fitting room..xp
but it doesn't look nice
and i got continuous 3 pimples on the same place
==

bought jor the top but not the jean

I like the blue want but in the end I bought the green want..haha
and Lina bought a pink want

I'm so fat and my leg muscle are so big
==
or maybe I should just wear long pants

oh oh
found out something between me and Lina
our taste are the same also
haha

we went for some drink after shopping
but I forgot the name de
but what I heard from Lina is
its quite famous and the chocolate is so damn expensive

waffler and ice chocolate

so weird de logo

*kai xin guo*

me

DRINK ME

after that I went for basketball
but I left early coz Henry's exam is coming
and there's a lot of guys and I dunno them at all
but I was having fun also coz I get to sweat
YES!!!finally got the feeling of playing basketball de
haha

thanks to both of them
I enjoy my day very much
^^

all the best for Henry in his exam
and hope he get his scholarship
and as for Lina I can't wait to meet her up again and go beach^^
and happy 3 months for her and her bf


ps./ I know you work very hard and I should be as well
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6 more days

promises are meant to be broke?

again
another is being broke
haiz
no haagen daze for birthday de lur
gonna celebrate with family this year I guess


waited very long
thought everything can be settled
yet you forgot our promise

I'm not the right person to talk to
I know that clearly
and that's the biggest problem we are having

a bit of disappointed but we'll talk about it when I go back
at least everything is fine now^^

6 more days to go
I had been sleeping the whole day
didn't even walk out from this apartment for 3 days
laptop was on for more than 72 hours

HUH!!!
seriously
that's so not me

how can I stay in the room for so long
@@
but I did it

gonna go out tomorrow
if not I gonna be crazy
but tomorrow gonna be hotter than today
34 degree~~~
>_<

getting dizzy after seeing the temperature
Malaysia also not so hot
at least it was raining this few days

but I like summer
hurray to the shiny sun
I think after get use to the sudden change I'll be super duper happy

being lazy
but might be cleaning up my stuff
and start to pack

bb said iguana has lost his tail
pity Mr. Green
but I think it will grow back
temporary just be short tail Mr. Green la^^


ps./ can wait to see what is that
* excited *
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misunderstanding

hahaha
its actually a misunderstanding
and because of my "good" imagination
I let things turn worst

but lucky things doesn't like what I had imagine
^^

we gonna talk everything
and things will be fine


ps./ back to who I am
peace^^
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Back to the past

It hurts badly
I just hope everything can be fine
I hope everything will be erase and being replace

I make like it doesn't matter
I make like I doesn't care
but it hurts more than everything after that

even you pretend noting happened
I still can't accept it

I miss you badly
TT

I just hope we are happy
I hope everything just go back before this
I hate the sadness


ps./ I'll find a better way and won't let 8 happened again

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What just happened

I dunno what you want
and I'm trying to control my tears coz I have to be strong
yet I can't make it now

its so tiring but I still can't stop it at all

why everything can't be smooth
why every time there must be something happened when one is end

there is noting wrong with us
yet both of us are not happy
both of us are suffering now

what's going on
what exactly is the problem between us

I dunno what I have to do to let you know that I'm not sad with you
you are not the one who make me sad and cry every time
and I always get emo is my personality not because of you
and I'm trying to change that as well
and you are not useless

maybe you are stress with your work
but you didn't tell me anything at all
and now what I can do is just guess

I hate all this
can't we just talk out everything
you said before we can said everything


ps./ I hope I won't wake up so that I can stop my mind
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I'll always be there

dunno why
I can't express that sudden sadness I'm having

its noting touch
its noting special
yet after seeing your blog
my heart suddenly felt pain
like needles pricking on it

maybe I felt the pain you are having
or maybe I felt sad coz you are not happy

but I just wanna tell you
even we are far apart
I'll still be there for all of you
coz I LOVE ALL OF YOU

Its hard
yet everything is possible
so don't let distance drag our friendship away

you know what?
I always feel lonely and sad
always feel like giving up and go back
go back to the place I'm familiar with and with all the people I love and care
yet I'm just like a baby
* not mature * not strong * always manja only *

even thought I wanna stay with all of you so badly
I can't give up anything more then my future
and I should stay strong with my decision that I had made with no regret and starts to grow up

I'm accepting the challenges in my life
walking through all that
and I'm happy with what I'm for now
coz i notice I have change in these few days

* HAPPY *
is the key
I dunno did I really change or that is just temporary
but I'm glade that I'm for this few days
coz even life is tough I still can walk through it happily
so you must cheer also k?
I'll always be there whenever you need me^^

today is the last day for my exam
hurray~~~
haha
even thought it has no different
but hey~I'm going back soon!!!
9 & 1/2 days
haha
gonna pack my luggage later

oh ya
me and Lina plan to go somewhere before we go back
so we'll be planning for tonight I guess
coz both of us are the only one who finish our exam first
beach~~~zoo~~~here we come~~~
haha

and this is what happened when we had lunch
not much
but I miss one shoot on Adrian with his funny face
haha

when Lina was thinking of Mick..haha

see ancient de face..xp

noting to write de
hope everyone have a nice day
tata^^

ps./ my previous post is so damn ugly>_<
who is that not bad looking guy?haha
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